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The first four of seventeen excuses on how we give an angry, controlling and abusive partner the authority on abuse. Do we excuse an alcoholic or a drug addict for their actions while under the influence, or even consider their source of insight ? The more we know about their excuses and why many abusive men and women seem to be mentally ill but aren't really, the more we will stop making excuses for the smoke and mirrors. Only then, can we see clear enough to create healthier relationships in the home.