What if celibate people are really just repressing their sexuality? Or the Bible writers banned same-sex sex because they couldn’t imagine a modern, egalitarian, consensual marriage?

Join TJ (social science researcher) and David (communitarian vibes) as they name 7 “myths” of sex, celibacy, marriage, and love, and talk about LGBTQ flourishing for Christians.

Note: This episode uses the terms “Side A” and “Side B” (and X, Y) as shorthand quite a bit. If you’re new to the conversation, you might find it helpful to check out episode #3, where we talk through the four “sides”: ⁠#3 - A-B-Y-X | 4 Sides on SSA/Gay Sexuality⁠

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★ Timestamps

(00:00) #61 - 7 Myths of Side A: On Sex, Love, and Marriage for LGBTQ Christians

(03:19) Myth #1: Celibacy equals sexual repression or misery

(10:29) Myth #2: The Bible writers only banned gay sex because they couldn't imagine consensual, egalitarian same-sex monogamous relationships

(15:32) Myth #3: Marriage is the only committed covenant relationship

(23:17) Myth #4: Colonialist European Christianity is the source of homophobia around the globe

(31:06) Myth #5: A sexual ethic is just a personal decision

(36:33) Myth #6: Love trumps everything

(42:20) Myth #7: Sexual ethics are minor differences among Christians

(53:25) Summing up

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★ Links and References

* Bill White in the New York Times: “How My Dad Reconciled His God and His Gay Son.” https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2025/02/05/opinion/coming-out-evangelical-pastor.html?unlocked_article_code=1.u04.SZiC.MDfFGLX6HWTO&smid=url-share

* Wendell Berry, **“Sex, Economy, Freedom, and Community,” (2018). https://www.counterpointpress.com/books/sex-economy-freedom-community/

* John Pike, “Were loving, faithful same-sex relations known in antiquity?” https://www.psephizo.com/sexuality-2/were-loving-faithful-same-sex-relations-known-in-antiquity/

* Preston Sprinkle, “Did Consensual Same-Sex Sexual Relationships Exist in Biblical Times? A Response to Matthew Vines,” (August 30, 2022). https://www.centerforfaith.com/blog/did-consensual-same-sex-sexual-relationships-exist-in-biblical-times-a-response-to-matthew

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★ Send us feedback, questions, comments, and support!

Email: communionandshalom@gmail.com | Instagram: @newkinship | Substack: @newkinship | Patreon: @newkinship

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★ Credits

Creators and Hosts: David Frank, TJ Espinoza | Audio Engineer: Carl Swenson, carlswensonmusic.com | Podcast Manager: Elena F. | Graphic Designer: Gavin Popken, gavinpopkenart.com ★

This episode contains a brief mention of violent murder.

Teresa is a queer woman who grew up in the Philippines and has worked in the U.S. in campus ministry for several years. She brings thoughtful reflections on identities, faith relationships, and family interactions across multiple cultures. We’re honored to be her friend!

Note: This episode uses the terms “Side A” and “Side B” (and X, Y) as shorthand quite a bit. If you’re new to the conversation, you might find it helpful to check out episode #3, where we talk through the four “sides”: ⁠#3 - A-B-Y-X | 4 Sides on SSA/Gay Sexuality⁠

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★ Timestamps

(00:00) #60 - Teresa - On Filipina, Side B

(03:31) Understanding faith and sexuality as a 12-year-old Filipina

(11:53) Filipino and US shared queer terminology

(14:46) Catholics and Protestants: a wide schism

(19:41) My parents love me dearly, but identity is hard

(27:08) What's influencing me lately: mystics, monastics, and eunuchs

(31:19) Side B: Reveling in God's love for me

(39:38) Finding a queer staff community in campus ministry

(45:38) Gifts of being queer: art, care, hospitality

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★ Send us feedback, questions, comments, and support!

Email: communionandshalom@gmail.com | Instagram: @newkinship | Substack: @newkinship | Patreon: @newkinship

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★ Credits

Creators and Hosts: David Frank, TJ Espinoza | Audio Engineer: Carl Swenson, carlswensonmusic.com | Podcast Manager: Elena F. | Graphic Designer: Gavin Popken, gavinpopkenart.com ★

Tyler Parker weighs in on topics like bisexuality, Christianity at Harvard, liberation theology, and celibate partnerships. A valuable conversation… but that goes without saying. Join us!

About Our Guest:

Tyler Parker is a campus minister at Harvard College, where he studied government and filmmaking during his undergraduate studies. He is a follower of Jesus, is bisexual, and is filled with a deep passion for LGBTQ+ people to experience the lives of flourishing that are borne out of radical encounters with the love of Christ. He also helps lead a growing Revoice chapter in the Greater Boston area and serves on staff at Aletheia Church, Cambridge. He can be reached on Instagram: @tyler.parker.1671

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Note: This episode uses the terms “Side A” and “Side B” (and X, Y) as shorthand quite a bit. If you’re new to the conversation, you might find it helpful to check out episode #3, where we talk through the four “sides”: ⁠#3 - A-B-Y-X | 4 Sides on SSA/Gay Sexuality⁠

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★ Timestamps

(00:00) #57 - Theology of Sex and Ministry at Harvard, with Tyler Parker

(01:36) Doing Christian campus ministry at Harvard

(10:20) Coming out (to myself and others) as bisexual

(18:37) But what is "bisexuality"?

(20:41) Why not side A? How did the early church read these passages?

(33:15) Church silence around sexuality

(38:55) Family conversations and celibacy

(44:36) Ok, but: Celibate partnerships?

(01:09:46) Can you "fall in love" without it turning to sexual attraction?

(01:18:50) Having calm conversations about sexuality at Harvard

(01:27:53) Future of the Side B movement?

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★ Send us feedback, questions, comments, and support!

Email: communionandshalom@gmail.com | Instagram: @newkinship | Substack: @newkinship | Patreon: @newkinship

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★ Credits

Creators and Hosts: David Frank, TJ Espinoza | Audio Engineer: Carl Swenson, carlswensonmusic.com | Podcast Manager: Elena F. | Graphic Designer: Gavin Popken, gavinpopkenart.com ★

Note: This episode includes a brief mention of suicide and community response to it.

As the child of a Korean pastor and raised in North America, Stephen Shim has been wrestling with coming to terms with being, in his words, “a minority of a minority of a minority”—a gay, Korean Christian. Stephen is a leader in the “B-sian” group—a community of Asian, Side B Christians that developed from the Revoice annual conference.

Now in his late 30s, Stephen has continued to walk down the path of his life with a bit more peace and a bit less wrestling, while trying to love God and love others as best as he can. You can contact him on X/Twitter or Bluesky: skshim.bsky.social.

Note: This episode uses the terms “Side A” and “Side B” (and X, Y) as shorthand quite a bit. If you’re new to the conversation, you might find it helpful to check out episode #3, where we talk through the four “sides”: ⁠#3 - A-B-Y-X | 4 Sides on SSA/Gay Sexuality⁠

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★ Timestamps

(00:00) #56 - Stephen Shim's B-sian Story: Being Gay, Korean-Canadian, and a Side B Christian

(02:11) Growing up: Dad was a pastor, Mom was often sick

(20:47) "Are you gay? Or are you Asian?"

(42:28) Talking to my father about sexuality

(53:28) Why side B? Reading scripture literally, familial obligations

(56:51) Finding Side B through Revoice: "I do not like new things"

(01:04:54) The B-sian Origin Story

(01:20:59) "Why does this guy keep talking about race?"

(01:26:25) How are multicultural spaces supportive, or not?

(01:32:45) How can people connect with you?

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★ Send us feedback, questions, comments, and support!

Email: communionandshalom@gmail.com | Instagram: @newkinship | Substack: @newkinship | Patreon: @newkinship

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★ Credits

Creators and Hosts: David Frank, TJ Espinoza | Audio Engineer: Carl Swenson, carlswensonmusic.com | Podcast Manager: Elena F. | Graphic Designer: Gavin Popken, gavinpopkenart.com ★

If you’ve never heard of Life on Side B—the podcast that in many ways inspired this one—today is your day! We interviewed Josh and Ashley on their ending season, where Side B could evolve, and how LoSB podcast was almost named “Unicorns for Jesus”.

And THEN…head on over to Life on Side B to listen to David and TJ’s reflections on interviewing people with diverse views and where Side B conversations are evolving. Listen to the other half of this episode here: www.lifeonsideb.com/episodes/episode/1d868a02/s6e1-or-tj-and-david-on-new-kinship-and-the-future-of-side-b-crossover-episode

Comments on how LoSB impacted you? Send your audio message to LoSB here: https://www.lifeonsideb.com/finalseason

Note: This episode uses the terms “Side A” and “Side B” (and X, Y) as shorthand an incredible amount. If you’re new to the conversation, I don’t know what to tell you. Welcome! And you might want to check out:

* New Kinship’s episode #3, where we talk through the four “sides”: ⁠#3 - A-B-Y-X | 4 Sides on SSA/Gay Sexuality⁠

* Life on Side B’s explainer article: The Four Sides

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★ About Our Guests

Josh was born and raised in South Florida. He is the creator and producer of Life on Side B, a podcast exploring the joys, beauty, and challenges of living the traditional sexual ethic as LGBT+/same sex attracted Christians. He is a spiritual director and inclusion consultant with a private practice called Wholly Ourselves, and he is a pastor at his local church, Providencia WPB. He holds a DMin from Kairos University and a MA in Biblical Literature from Nyack College. In his spare time, you can normally find Josh doing one of three things: hosting friends at his home with his family, watching Golden Girls, or working out.

Ashley is a queer woman in a mixed-orientation marriage of over a decade and has a three-year-old son. She and her husband met on the mission field in Latin America with Youth With A Mission and currently reside in the southern United States.

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★ Timestamps

(00:00) New Kinship #55 - Life on Side B's Final Season, with Josh and Ashley

(01:48) At the time, there weren't any Side B podcasts

(05:52) Episodes that changed us: Telling our vulnerable stories

(08:56) Why is Life on Side B ending?

(13:16) What Josh and Ashley learned in 5 seasons

(19:57) Where should the Side B movement go?

(26:45) Josh's upcoming podcast(s) and work!

(30:53) Ashley's work with Your Other...Family?

(34:01) Send a message to LoSB folks!

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★ Send us feedback, questions, comments, and support!

Email: communionandshalom@gmail.com | Instagram: @newkinship | Substack: @newkinship | Patreon: @newkinship

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★ Credits

Creators and Hosts: David Frank, TJ Espinoza | Audio Engineer: Carl Swenson, carlswensonmusic.com | Podcast Manager: Elena F. | Graphic Designer: Gavin Popken, gavinpopkenart.com ★

TJ and David were interviewed on Joel Carini’s podcast, the Natural Theologian, a previous guest of ours, to discuss the role of marriage, family, other significant others, covenants, Side B perspectives on kinship, and more!

Check it out!