You will never regret being kind to your spouse.

In a strong marriage, the sexual expression of love is the sinew that ties two hearts together and forms the kind of bond we depend on to get us through life's greatest challenges. As we age, the intensity of physical passion burns more ember than flame, but the bonds of love can be just as strong, even stronger, than ever.

Alzheimer's forces a wedge in the relationship. Caregiver stress is more devastating than you imagined. Frustration and Anger barge into your home and wreak havoc in your daily world. Anticipatory grief destroys your dream of the future.

Whether the dementia caregiving journey takes a few years or a decade or more, love doesn't fade from a strong marriage. The challenge is learning how to express that love in a new way.

After marrying more than 150 couples, publishing 3 historical romance novels with Harper Collins, and being married for 41 years to a man I loved deeply, I've learned some things about weddings, romance, intimacy, and dementia. I share a few of those thoughts in this episode.

Mentioned in the episode:

John van Gurp's YouTube channel: John and Heather's Dementia Journey

Be sure to listen to episode 28 about how using improv can help caregivers enter the world of their loved one. Let me know if you'd like to be part of an online improv class where all the participants are dementia family caregivers.

I'm working a future episode about how it feels to have to care for a family member with dementia when you would never refer to that person as your "loved one." If that's you, please contact me. Email: zita@myspousehasdementia.com

You know that caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's or other form of dementia can leave your mind confused, your body exhausted, and your spirit depressed. Yes, and what if I said there's something simple that might help you survive the caregiving journey? Yes, and what if I said this something is fun and free?

I'm talking about improvisational theater, "improv" for short. Imagine a group of people on stage, making up a comedy skit as they go along. No experience required for what I'm suggesting in this episode.

I've been talking with my nephew, Stephen Gillikin, co-founder of an improv group in Los Angeles and founder of a virtual improv class, about how improv techniques might help family dementia caregivers "enter the world" of their loved one.

To read more about what I think could genuinely help family dementia caregivers, read the associate blog post on my main website, ZitaChristian.com

Mentioned in this episode:

Stephen Gillikin, Actor, Improv Teacher, my nephew

International Women's Podcast Awards

(Mentioned because out of almost 700 entries from 35 countries around the world, My Spouse Has Dementia was short-listed for the 2025 annual awards!)

Episode 27, interview with Marty Schreiber, author of My Two Elaines

In case you're wondering, I generated all of this content. Not AI.

“None of the books I read conveyed the ugly truth about caregiving: that it can destroy you – even kill you – if you go about it wrong.”

That's just a taste of the hard-hitting reality conveyed by author Martin (Marty) Schreiber in his memoir, "My Two Elaines." Elaine was Marty's highschool sweetheart and wife of 62 years when she died from Alzheimer's.

As a former governor, Marty was prepared for the political responsibilities focused on leading the State of Wisconson. As a loving husband to a wife with Alzheimer's, he floundered.

Marty talks bluntly about several aspects of caregiving:

• the benefits of being told the truth of a diagnosis
• the unique stress a husband faces when he is the caregiver
• how asking for help can challenge a man's masculinity
• how critical it is to enter your loved one's world when trying to communicate
• the inevitable anger and frustration of trying to fix the unfixable
• the danger of trying to cope with alcohol -- what Marty calls, "the caregiver's poison."
• self-reflection, regrets, and the importance of sharing personal caregiving stories

This is a love story. Sad. Strong. Encouraging.

Martin Schreiber's website: My Two Elaines

If you're caring for a spouse with dementia and are finding it hard to tell family and friends what you're going through, send them this link to Episode 23: The Caregiver You Love Needs Help