Front bottom. Va-jay-jay. Pussy. Flaps. Around 50% of humans are vagina-owners, so why is there still so much confusion about what a vagina is and how it works? From concerns about tiny gynaecologists accidentally falling in, to the horror of giant-headed babies roaring through it like a pack of wild dogs, Sezl and Simons take you on a wild ride round their lady parts. It's not for the faint hearted.

Ever wondered what it would be like to unwittingly attend an orgy or accidentally shoot a truck load of fireworks at a group of naked men, at midnight, while dancing round an ancient stone circle? Well wonder no more! 
In this episode the lasses recall a few memorable mishaps, as well as exploring nakedness in all its glory. Get your kit off, love!

It started off as a chat about keeping clean and tidy, but within minutes the ladies are celebrating the word slag, and fizzing with outrage about the creepy 1980s TV interviews on 19 year old Princess Diana's virginity. They also talk about their own housekeepng skills. One is an domestic expert, one is a scruffy old mare. 

In this episode the ladies grudgingly admit that a bit of jiggling about might be good for the health. One Sarah  reveals why she was born to wade through the surf hoisting a fisherman over her head, while the other Sarah bitterly regrets her accidental encounter with The Real Housewives of The Sahara Desert. Hilarity, blisters and chafing ensues. 

On the blob. Crimson tide. Shark week. In this episode the Middle Aged Fat Lasses cast a keen eye over periods. 
The ladies recall the sophistication of a tampon carrier,  being terrified about starting their period in a swimming pool and blood clots in the shape of Africa.
Everything you've ever wondered about other people's periods and more. 

This episode sees Sezl & Simons chat all things culinary, from the delicate beauty of a Parisian feast, to the first taste of tikka masala after a night up ‘The Grinning Rat’. As usual the ladies veer wildly off topic, exploring subjects from chickens multi-purpose bum holes, to tracking down Bette Midler in a New York City restaurant.
Disgraceful behaviour. 

Copping off, going on the ratch, being told 'my mate wants to go with you'. 
The two Sarahs, Sezl & Simons, recall the less-than-sophisticated courting rituals of their youth, as experienced in 'Keith's Hod Rod Disco'. As Mrs Simons hasn't been on a date since before the internet was invented, Sezl explains the rules of dating in modern times as well as exploring the world of online romance. 
Outrageous merriment from a couple of saucy old matrons.

S01 EP02: The two Sarahs, Sezl & Simons, wade unashamedly through all the the joys and indignities of being fat. They go from giddy to murderous as they reveal times when being fat has given them power, as well as exploring occasions where their size has been used as a weapon against them.  As Sezl rightly says, ‘If we were heifers we’d be prize winners’.
Outrageous merriment from a couple of ample matrons.