In this sugar-fueled episode of Marriage Bites, Mike and Jess dive tongue-first into Burger King’s Nerds Slushie—an effervescent sugar bomb that sparks a nostalgic (and borderline erotic) candy confessional. From awkward childhood slushy memories to grocery store gummy debates, the couple compares sweets like they’re judging Olympic gymnastics. There’s also a deep dive into nerd consumption techniques (tongue-in-the-box or hand-pour?), questionable video store backrooms, and the mystery of packing pork chops for lunch. Oh, and if you’ve ever wondered how candy can lead to conversations about semen, gummy lust, and junior mints, this one’s for you. Embrace the chaos.

In this episode of Marriage Bites, Mike and Jess attempt to review McDonald’s new McCrispy Chicken Strips—but get wildly sidetracked thanks to their kids' unfiltered curiosity. From anatomy questions to late-night bacon cravings, nothing is off-limits in this chaotic, hilarious recap of birthday weekends, Mother’s Day, and parenting in the age of cake pops. They also break down why McDonald’s is banking on tenders to turn around a rough financial quarter—and whether the creamy chili sauce is enough to save the day. Plus, a nostalgic look back at episode 75... which neither of them remembers at all.

On this episode of Marriage Bites with Mike and Jess, the couple hits the Panera Bread drive-thru to taste test the Croque Monsieur sandwich featuring Black Forest ham, melty provolone, and a rich caramelized onion spread on croissant toast. Hilarity ensues as Jess gets the giggles during the order, and the duo reflects on their long history with chain restaurant fare, including a nostalgic blast from the past: Subway’s Spicy Italian. Beyond food, Mike and Jess chat about parenting, managing macros, old college memories, and why Panera might be the unofficial headquarters for breakups and under-eye patch therapy.