Everyone knows that zombies aren’t what they used to be. If anything, a decaying, shambolic corpse is probably the perfect metaphor for the genre as it exists right now: decrepit, feeble, and limping slowly towards nowhere in particular. There was a time, however, when zombie fiction was almost as popular as movie westerns were in their day, and that time, of course, was the early 2000s, inarguably the worst period of culture since the 1510s (your poetry sucks, Henry VIII). That’s not necessarily to say that zombie media was a reason for that decade’s irritating obsession with film grain and infuriating hatred for colors that are not gray, but it may go some way towards explaining why, as aesthetic tastes shifted, certain genres like comic book films or crime fiction survived the jump while zombies did not. Zombie stories, after all, are pretty gray, grainy affairs that aren’t built for much tonal variation, with the notable exception of Shaun of the Dead, a horror-comedy zombie flick directed by Edgar Wright. Shaun of the Dead is remembered fondly by many viewers for its humorous take on the walking dead, but how fondly will Nathan and Elliot look on it? That, my friend, is the question we set out to answer today on our brand new episode. Grab a pint, throw on your headphones, and wait for this whole thing to blow over with the soothing tones of your favorite hosts. Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.com

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TBD

Power, oh man don’t you wish you just had some? Power, in whatever form be it political, cultural, or laser eyes, gives you access to neat stuff like respect, authority, and cheat codes to the legal system. Even in lower stakes arenas like the professional music scene power can unlock lots of doors for you, many of them leading to places of murky ethics. I’m not just talking about forcing your orchestra to play the alphabet song for laughs, though, I’m referring to far more serious misdeeds like forming inappropriate relationships and handing out favors to your allies. That, at least, is how the eponymous conductor of Tár, Todd Field’s 2022 psychological drama, chooses to wield her influence. Tár is one of those movies that got rave reviews from critics, a strong response from audiences, and decent results at the box office before winning an award or two and settling in for the long descent into obscurity. Before the film is forgotten, however, it will be brought before the Magellans at the Movies for its final analysis. Don’t feel the need to enter into a questionable relationship with us if you want to be a part of it, though, just press the play button and then afterwards maybe we can have lunch and talk about your future here? Just think it over, there’s a lot of benefits to being in our good graces, you know. Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.com

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Everyone needs friends to get through life, that’s why I’m so miserable all the time. Friends lift us up when we’re low and congratulate us when we’re high (or give us a ride home). Fickle friends, best friends, old friends, new friends, the varieties of companions are endless, but what happens when one of those friends decides to dissolve their partnership and go their separate ways to the great confusion and dismay of the other party? Why, then you would have most of the plot of The Banshees of Inisherin, a 2022 darkly comedic drama directed by Martin McDonagh. Banshees was a critical darling and serious Oscar contender in its day, but we all know the Academy Awards are small potatoes these days, the real prestige comes from earning a strong review from Magellans at the Movies. Has this bleak tale of lonely hearts and petty strife earned itself just such acclaim? Well just shush-like and start the episode to find out! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.com

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If you like dysentery, the old west is for you. If you like filth, the old west is for you. If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to live utterly at the mercy of the elements and corrupt lawmen while you work your tenant field of sorghum for two cents a day that you can spend on bathtub whiskey at the local saloon, then your only option is to somehow travel back in time to live in the old west. Or move to Texas. For the rest of us, however, we’re generally content to see all that unpleasantness from afar on the silver screen, which is why they make so many movies about the American frontier, but none quite like Bone Tomahawk, a 2015 western/horror directed by S. Craig Zahler. This gritty genre blend wasn’t much commercially, but garnered plenty of praise critically, which meant that it was only a matter of time before western fan Elliot watched and subsequently forced his brother to do the same. Now that both brothers have taken it in, what do they think? The only way to find out is by starting the episode, so before you amputate your gangrenous leg, maybe take the edge off with an exciting new installment of Magellans at the Movies!

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There truly is nothing like crime to bring a family together. Why are criminal organizations organized by families? Why do family businesses that get big also commit massive fraud? The answer is obvious: taking stuff that doesn’t belong to you is just the spit shine that your fraying familial ties are in need of. After all, it’s by embezzling listener donations that Elliot and Nathan fund their wild weekends in Vegas, and thereby foster the close sibling bond that makes this program what it is. Don’t just take my word for it, though, take it from the true intellectuals of modern society: movie directors! Specifically, director Hirokazu Koreeda’s 2018 family drama Shoplifters. This is one of those movies that people effusively praise at parties in lieu of developing a personality, and which of our favorite hosts will be effusively praising the film, I wonder? Only one way to find out, so grab that pomegranate and make a beeline for the exit so you can listen to the episode in the comfort of your own home rather than the cold austerity of a jail cell.

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As the month of wraiths draws to a close and we all look forward to the far calmer, gentler event of the American election day, stay just a little bit longer in the spooky season with Magellans at the Movies. And what better way to commemorate the holiday of Halloween than reviewing the 1978 John Carpenter directed slasher film for which it was named? This is the movie that popularized the masked, reticent killer stalking teenagers and offing them one by one, so if that structure appeals to you, you’ve almost certainly seen it before. Even those of us who find less favor in the dramatized suffering of our fellow man are likely to have enjoyed Halloween, or at least its influence, once or twice in our lives, so before the world gets cheerful with the anticipation of Christmas, get fearful with the dread of what may be lurking in the shadows in your room . . . Everyone’s entitled to one good podcast, no matter the time of year, so let’s get started with ours!

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To be a spy is to live in the terrible knowledge that some day, somehow, someone is going to get a bizarre and destructive notion in their head to blow up the sun so that their coal stocks increase in worth or something. Thankfully, the brave men and women of the world’s intelligence agencies train every day for just such occasions, but have you ever wondered how it all gets started? Have you ever wanted to see the making of a classically British gentleman spy? Your answers to those questions may go some way towards predicting how you will respond to Kingsman: The Secret Service, a 2014 spy action movie directed by Matthew Vaughn. Kingsman is, indeed, the story of a young man’s forming into a Bond-esque super spy so he can stop a dastardly plot only slightly less ridiculous than destroying the sun. Kingsman was popular enough to spawn a franchise that is with us to this day, so clearly most people will answer in the affirmative to the aforementioned questions, but what say the hosts of Magellans at the Movies? That’s what we’re here to find out, so slip on your suit and lace up those Oxfords for another suave episode!

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