“Is technology bringing my family together or pushing my family apart?”

Technology is such an integral part of society that it can worm its way into our lives without much notice - but if we really ponder this question, are we content with our answer? Today, Jim welcomes Dr. Alice Benton back to the show with an insightful Q&A all about our digital use as families. Dr. Alice is a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in Parent Support & Training, Health & Wellness, and Trauma Recovery. Throughout this conversation, Jim poses some of the most common questions parents have about screen use.

Special Note:

Check out the timestamps below for specific questions asked, and be sure to contact HomeWord if you have a question you want answered on the show!

Questions in this Episode:

[6:53] What do I do when my child says ‘I’m the ONLY one who doesn’t have a smartphone!’?

[8:47] When does screen time become harmful to kids?

[11:00] How do you find the compromise on-screen use when one parent is a screen-enabler and one is a screen-limiter?

[13:08] What do you say to the single mom/single parent who is trying to implement screen boundaries and their ex is going against or ignoring those boundaries?

[17:28] What do you think about GPS monitoring on a child’s phone/device?

[19:28] What do you do when a child is addicted to their screen?

[23:52] What do you do when your child is caught looking at porn?

[26:44] “My spouse is addicted to porn. What do I do?”

Listen to Jim’s first episode with Dr. Alice Benton here: Episode 9: Daily Conversations for Screen Management

HomeWord Website: https://homeword.com/

HomeWord Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@homeword

Jim Burns Blog: https://homeword.com/jims-blog/

HomeWord Voice Line: 949-485-3905

Send HomeWord a question: info@homeword.com

Dr. Alice Benton Website: https://dralicebenton.com/

New Life Live: https://newlife.com/broadcasts/

Daily Conversations for Screen Management Course: https://dr-alice-benton-university.teachable.com/p/digital-parenting-daily-conversations

Digital Parenting Conversations Course: https://dralicebenton.com/digitallybalancedparenting

Books:

Understanding and Loving Your Children in a Screen-Saturated World: https://a.co/d/8bO4XzJ

For those of us with teens on the verge of leaving for college, it’s understandable that our prayer for them is that they will stand strong in their faith once out of our sight. We hope they will keep and honor the values they were raised with - but what if they don’t? Today, Jim welcomes Sean McDowell to discuss his book, Set Adrift: Deconstructing What You Believe Without Sinking Your Faith. Sean, a prolific author, gifted speaker, and Associate Professor of Christian Apologetics at Talbot School of Theology at Biola University is used to hearing from young people about their faith, or loss thereof - but he also isn’t losing hope. Listen in as Jim and Sean discuss how we can support our kids in this scenario and why we shouldn’t fear “deconstruction”...because the potential for their return with an even stronger faith is bright.

HomeWord Website: https://homeword.com/

HomeWord Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@homeword

Jim Burns Blog: https://homeword.com/jims-blog/

Sean McDowell Website: https://seanmcdowell.org/

Sean McDowell on Twitter: https://x.com/Sean_McDowell

Books Mentioned:

Set Adrift: https://seanmcdowell.org/item/set-adrift

More Than A Carpenter: https://seanmcdowell.org/item/more-than-a-carpenter

UNChristian: https://a.co/d/cc48Or3

Barna Group | GEN Z: Vol. 3: https://shop.barna.com/products/gen-z-volume-3

You Lost Me: Why Young Christians Are Leaving The Church…And Rethinking Faith: https://a.co/d/30cf70O

Handing Down The Faith: https://a.co/d/6Xs3FUz

What do you think of when you hear the word ‘discipline’? Depending on how you were raised, that word can bring up all kinds of memories and emotions! Too often the word discipline is synonymous with punishment but are they actually the same thing? Today, Jim welcomes Embracing Your Season podcast host and licensed mental health counselor Paige Clingenpeel back to the show to discuss the nuance of discipline as discipleship and how, when done well, it helps to build character in our kids, take pride in responsibility and learn to make wiser choices as they mature. Full of powerful pep-talk moments from Paige, this is just the episode parents need to start the new year strong!

Jim’s Points on Discipline and Grace:

REMEMBER: You’re not trying to raise obedient kids - you’re trying to raise kids who will become responsible adults.

• Rules without relationship equal rebellion.
  • Don’t be too rigid and remember that relationship matters!
• Choose your battles wisely.
  • You’re the parent, the authority - you win the battle with leadership and empathy. Nagging and negativity don’t work!
• Clearly express your expectations.

To be clear is to be kind! Believe it or not, your kids want to obey you.

HomeWord Website: https://homeword.com/

HomeWord Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@homeword

Jim Burns Blog: https://homeword.com/jims-blog/

Paige Clingenpeel Website: https://www.paigeclingenpeel.com/

Embracing Your Season Podcast: https://www.paigeclingenpeel.com/embracing-your-season-podcast

Facebook: @Paige Clingenpeel

Instagram: @paigeclingenpeel

YouTube: Embracing Your Season Sponsored by HomeWord

Struggling to find your footing in marriage? Feeling lonely, misunderstood, or like your relationship is at a crossroads? You’re not alone. Even marriages of 30+ years face truly tough seasons, grief, and moments of uncertainty. In this episode, Jim sits down with Ron and Nan Deal - seasoned veterans of marriage who’ve faced these challenges head-on and come out stronger. Ron, a marriage and family therapist and acclaimed author, and Nan, his partner in life and purpose, lead The Mindful Marriage Conference and have co-authored the brand-new book The Mindful Marriage. Together, they share hard-earned wisdom on emotional maturity, personal growth, and building deeper, more compassionate connections in your relationship. Don’t just listen - save this episode. It’s packed with insights you’ll want to revisit again and again.

HomeWord Website: https://homeword.com/

HomeWord Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@homeword

Jim Burns Blog: https://homeword.com/jims-blog/

HomeWord+ Online Courses: https://homeword.com/homeword-plus/

About Ron and Nan Deal: https://rondeal.org/about

The Mindful Marriage Conference: https://rondeal.org/channels-resources/the-mindful-marriage-conference

Books:

The Mindful Marriage: Create Your Best Relationship Through Understanding and Managing Yourself: https://a.co/d/5spq6ZS (PRE-ORDER. On Sale Jan 7th, 2025)

Ron’s Books on Amazon

Order Jim’s New Book:

A Student’s Guide to Sexual Integrity: https://homeword.com/product/students-guide-to-sexual-integrity-gods-plan-for-sex-and-your-body/

Parenting often feels like a whirlwind, leaving little time to recognize the valuable lessons we’re learning along the way - mostly because those lessons don't become clear until we have a moment of quiet reflection (a rare occurrence until the kids leave the house!). In this episode, Jim sits down with author and podcast host Sarah Bragg to explore the personal growth that unfolds as we navigate the joys and challenges of raising children. Pulling from the incredible insight in her book, A Mother’s Guide To Raising Herself, Sarah and Jim emphasize the importance of taking care of yourself and encourage parents, that if you haven’t heard it lately, you’re doing a great job.

Jim's Takeaways

• Fight for time to rest on a weekly basis
  • Find things that refresh you! Maybe it’s doing an exercise routine, enjoying a bubble bath (uninterrupted), or a lunch with a good friend - when you’re rested, you’re more present and more peaceful with your kids.
• Fight for time to restore relationships
  • Find time to connect with your loved ones each week, if it’s only for a few minutes. Work at keeping your relationships healthy and put in the effort towards restoration when needed.
• HAVE SERIOUS FUN!

HomeWord Links:

HomeWord Website: https://homeword.com/

HomeWord Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@homeword

Jim Burns Blog: https://homeword.com/jims-blog/

HomeWord+ Online Courses: https://homeword.com/homeword-plus/

Sarah Bragg Links:

Sarah Bragg Website: https://www.sarahbragg.com/

Surviving Sarah Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/surviving-sarah/id1069692358

Leave a Message for HomeWord: 949-485-3905

Have a question you want Jim to answer? Email us! info@homeword.com

Books:

A Mother’s Guide to Raising Herself: https://a.co/d/1lMCcDt

Is Everyone Happier Than Me? https://a.co/d/ixXrxQ7

Order Jim’s New Book:

A Student’s Guide to Sexual Integrity: https://homeword.com/product/students-guide-to-sexual-integrity-gods-plan-for-sex-and-your-body/

On today’s episode of HomeWord, Jim welcomes back author, speaker, and good friend Doug Fields to discuss his book, Intentional Parenting. Life moves quickly and it’s easy to fall into a parenting pattern that lacks intentionality - most of the time you’re just trying to make it through the day! However, Jim and Doug want to make it clear that when parents believe and accept that they are the most influential people in their kids’ lives, it’ll change how they view those initial 18 years. Working through the 10 actions of the intentional parent, Doug, and Jim share simple ways that parents can maximize their positive impact while their children are at home. Through an awareness of being on “display” 24/7, showing healthy affection, to how we treat others around us, parenting is an awesome and sobering mantle that can, ultimately, be one of the greatest joys in our life.

Jim’s Takeaways on Intentional Parenting

• Have serious fun!
  • I challenge you to do something fun with your kids today - even if it’s just a few minutes of watching funny videos together!
• Shower them with affection!

If this doesn’t come naturally to you, WORK AT IT. Practicing small acts of affection every day will grow this into a habit - and this is something that isn’t negotiable! Your children need to experience healthy affection from you as it will impact the rest of their lives.

HomeWord Website: https://homeword.com/

HomeWord Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@homeword

HomeWord Contact: info@homeword.com

HomeWord Voice Line: 949-485-3905 (open 24/7)

Jim Burns Blog: https://homeword.com/jims-blog/

Doug Fields Bio: https://www.dougfields.com/about

Intentional Parenting Website: http://intentionalparenting.com/

Doug Fields Resources: https://www.dougfields.com/store

Books:

Intentional Parenting: https://a.co/d/0SD9gWt

The First Few Years of Marriage: https://www.dougfields.com/product/the-first-few-years-of-marriage

What is your “Reflex Reaction”? When unexpected circumstances arise (as they so often do), do you react with joy and thankfulness or do you respond with irritation, grumbling, and complaining? Throughout the Bible we are instructed, and commanded, to rejoice always. But how do we do that when we are confronted with sickness, grief, and other things we can’t change? As we head into Thanksgiving week, Jim shares a special, simple practice he has been implementing for years: Thank Therapy. At the crux of this practice is the understanding that thankfulness is a choice: an act of will, an intentional decision. While our circumstances may not change, we can change our attitude - and that can make all the difference.

Links:

HomeWord Website: https://homeword.com/

HomeWord Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@homeword

Jim Burns Blog: https://homeword.com/jims-blog/

Have a question or comment about the show? Email Jim: info@homeword.com

Bible Verse Focus

1 Thessalonians 5:16,17,18

Today’s episode of HomeWord is Part 2 with renowned psychologist, author, and leadership consultant Dr. John Townsend called Ask The Expert. In a special twist on our usual interview style, Jim and John roleplay a teenager and parent Q & A with common questions your teens may be asking. Jim and John go back and forth displaying how attitude, compromise, negotiation and being curious (aka asking additional questions!) help deepen these conversations with your teen - hopefully leading to a more positive outcome. We’ve listed the timestamps below for the questions they work through during this episode. If you enjoy this style of podcast, let us know in the comments!

HomeWord Website: https://homeword.com/

HomeWord Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@homeword

Jim Burns Blog: https://homeword.com/jims-blog/

HomeWord+ Online Courses: https://homeword.com/homeword-plus/

Understanding Your Teen Seminar:

About Dr. John Townsend: https://drtownsend.com/

Townsend Institute for Leadership and Counseling: https://www.cui.edu/townsend

Townsend Leadership Program: https://drtownsend.com/townsend-leadership-program/

Townsend Personal and Relational Assessment Tool: https://tprat.com/

Books:

Boundaries with Teens: When to Say Yes, How to Say No: https://a.co/d/dxHieyj

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How To Say No to Take Control of Your Life: https://a.co/d/1wfAv9N

All Books by Dr. John Townsend: https://drtownsend.com/books/

Understanding Your Teen: Shaping Their Character, Facing Their Realities: https://a.co/d/cW4Bx1U

Questions In This Episode:

1. [3:32] I don’t even want to go to school, I don’t like it/School is boring/I know my grades are slipping but why does that even matter?
2. [7:23] Everybody looks at porn, I don’t get what the big deal is and why you’re giving such harsh consequences.
3. [12:43] Church is boring/I don’t want to go to that church/I’m having some doubts/It’s unfair that you force me to go to church
4. [21:10] I know I broke curfew again but I think losing my driving privileges is super harsh.

Jim’s Takeways

When it comes to parenting your teens:

1. Don’t even try to be their best friend.
   1. Be the parent. Have boundaries. Be the authority.
2. Be loving and understanding and help them create a plan with boundaries to live the teenage years.
3. Don’t be afraid to bring in a referee/a moderator when needed.
   1. When you need a breakthrough with your teen, look at adding in a trusted, impartial voice (think pastor/counselor). Sometimes both you and your teen need a fresh perspective on the same issue!