Let’s talk forgiveness! Is there someone or something from the past that still irks you when you think about it? Do you fixate on it? Does it upset you or make you feel angry or sad? A parent, a sibling, an ex?
Let’s go into detail about what forgiveness really means and what it can do for you and the importance of it.

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I share what I’ve learned in my past relationships from my actions and how I felt, reflecting on who I want to show up as now for myself and with my future partner. I try to educate myself everyday by listening to podcasts and watching YouTube videos about Self, inner child wounds, and relationships. I personally feel like this has helped me grow so much in such a short amount of time—healing from the toxic relationship I chose to stay in, healing from my past, and making that connection as to why I showed up the way I did and how to do it differently.
This is all so important because a lot of times in an abusive relationship, the abuser will blame shift onto you. It will feel like it is all your fault, and that you’re the issue, and you’re the one that doesn’t try or understand, or that you’re the abuser. You need to be aware of yourself and the situation at hand to know the difference and keep your sanity.

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Life update and I go on a tangent about why listening to the narcissist or other people may not be helpful and what you should do instead, as well as sides will be taken and you don’t have to prove yourself.

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I recorded this episode a few weeks ago… looking back on this, it’s clear that I am in the Stage of Preparation which is the 3rd stage of change. It’s when you know you need to shift and change and are starting to take the action to do so. In order to grow and shift and to not revert back, you do, in fact, quite literally have to wake up and be conscious of yourself, your behaviors, and your thoughts.

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When you love someone and think that they love and care about you, of course you trust them. Of course you empathize with them. Of COURSE you would never think they would deliberately lie or cheat or do what they do and of COURSE you wouldn’t imagine them doing terrible things to women in the past either…. But when it comes to narcissists and sociopaths? Yaaaa, you’re not the first one, pookie. More tea of what I found out AFTER I left and divorced.

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Let’s talk ADHD! People say everyone has a little bit of it, and yes that very well can be true, especially with social media and doom scrolling for dopamine hits, but ADHD affects your brain more than you may be aware of, however, that does not mean that there is anything wrong WITH you! I personally feel ADHD is a super power and neurodivergents have a different spark to us 🤩.
Not being aware of yourself can keep you in situations that aren’t the best for you or keep you making the same choices—so you’re “stuck” without even realizing it, but when you REALIZE it, you are now conscious and able to make a different choice.

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And the story continues!!
Having some space away to breathable and think helps provide a little bit of clarity, but as long as you’re continuing to be influenced by the narcissist, it will be more difficult to see them for who they actually are. The manipulation and mind games run deeeep and it will always be a cycle. It feels like treading water in the ocean and getting pulled under by the current or waves. The peace you feel in the relationship is never true peace, it’s only peaceful until the next wave.

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On our healing journey with a growth mindset, yes, we be positive and thriving, but not every day is going to be euphoric. There are some days where you may find yourself spiraling, and that is totally okay! Just be aware of the emotions, feel it, decipher why that may be the case, be kind and compassionate to yourself, and move forward. Don’t live in the negative spiral.
Alsoooo here’s the story of why I finally left my marriage.

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