Send over your dead SMS messages.

Greetings, listeners! In this musical counterpoint, I sing a song that Mr. President will never hear. You see, my singing might scare him off, and I can't do that. Not yet. After all, I'm trying to sell my realm, and if there's no leader to buy it, then I can't take my much-needed retirement. So, within the confines of my chariot, I belt this out while Thanatos laughs. Thanks, Reaper.

As ever, any feedback may be sent to me at Hades@firesidefolklorewithhades.com.

Disclaimer From the Lord of the Dead

This episode is a work of satire, deliberate as ritual, and grim as prophecy. No events depicted herein are factual—though truth often chooses to wear a mask when it walks among the living.

It is forged in the long and hallowed tradition of folklore: that ancient mortal craft of cloaking truths in tales, mocking kings through riddles, and laughing at monsters to rob them of power. Just as mortals once whispered of tyrants as toads and foxes in the safety of hearth-lit tales, so too do we now cloak modern hubris in mythic absurdity. The Underworld is not for sale, nor would I entrust its keys to a man who cannot distinguish a coin for Charon from a coin for Musk.

This performance is an exercise of protected speech, under the First Amendment of the United States Constitution—a right mortals too often squander until the silence is all that remains. To fear satire is to fear reflection, and the dead do not flinch from mirrors.

“Ἐν τοῖς σκιώδεσι, ἡ ἀλήθεια ψιθυρίζει.”
“In the shadows, truth whispers.”

Listen well. Laugh deeply. And remember: not all jokes are harmless… but the ones that bite are often the ones you needed to hear.

— Hades,
King of the Dead, Keeper of Oaths,
and Guardian of Folklore’s Flame

Send over your dead SMS messages.

Greetings, listeners! In this installment of our satirical skit, Mr. President stands outside of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, waiting for Aidoneus to pick him up in that promised chariot. Of course, Mr. President isn't thrilled about the prospect of having to dine on a platter of pomegranates, but buying a ready-made realm with a multitude of subjects eager to bow to him makes it all the more worth it.

As ever, any feedback may be sent to me at Hades@firesidefolklorewithhades.com.

If you'd like to download the song, "I'm Such a Genius", you may do so here.
https://www.jammable.com/conversion/jam-yLS7R1Od

Disclaimer From the Lord of the Dead

This episode is a work of satire, deliberate as ritual, and grim as prophecy. No events depicted herein are factual—though truth often chooses to wear a mask when it walks among the living.

It is forged in the long and hallowed tradition of folklore: that ancient mortal craft of cloaking truths in tales, mocking kings through riddles, and laughing at monsters to rob them of power. Just as mortals once whispered of tyrants as toads and foxes in the safety of hearth-lit tales, so too do we now cloak modern hubris in mythic absurdity. The Underworld is not for sale, nor would I entrust its keys to a man who cannot distinguish a coin for Charon from a coin for Musk.

This performance is an exercise of protected speech, under the First Amendment of the United States Constitution—a right mortals too often squander until the silence is all that remains. To fear satire is to fear reflection, and the dead do not flinch from mirrors.

“Ἐν τοῖς σκιώδεσι, ἡ ἀλήθεια ψιθυρίζει.”
“In the shadows, truth whispers.”

Listen well. Laugh deeply. And remember: not all jokes are harmless… but the ones that bite are often the ones you needed to hear.

— Hades,
King of the Dead, Keeper of Oaths,
and Guardian of Folklore’s Flame

Send over your dead SMS messages.

Greetings listeners, after silently watching the world burn for the past month, mustering up enough resolve to write has been ... difficult. Indeed, one wonders if ruling the Underworld is worth the trouble. Thus, I decided I needed to shake things up. Perhaps, cede the throne to one who has more vigor in him, not to mention the ambition to rule. Therefore, I took my trusted rotary phone to reach out to someone in the Upperworld who has clearly shown the world he means business. Hopefully, I'll have more to report after he comes to visit and enjoys our legendary hospitality.

As ever, any feedback can be routed to me at hades@firesidefolklorewithhades.com.

Disclaimer From the Lord of the Dead

This episode is a work of satire, deliberate as ritual, and grim as prophecy. No events depicted herein are factual—though truth often chooses to wear a mask when it walks among the living.

It is forged in the long and hallowed tradition of folklore: that ancient mortal craft of cloaking truths in tales, mocking kings through riddles, and laughing at monsters to rob them of power. Just as mortals once whispered of tyrants as toads and foxes in the safety of hearth-lit tales, so too do we now cloak modern hubris in mythic absurdity. The Underworld is not for sale, nor would I entrust its keys to a man who cannot distinguish a coin for Charon from a coin for Musk.

This performance is an exercise of protected speech, under the First Amendment of the United States Constitution—a right mortals too often squander until the silence is all that remains. To fear satire is to fear reflection, and the dead do not flinch from mirrors.

“Ἐν τοῖς σκιώδεσι, ἡ ἀλήθεια ψιθυρίζει.”
“In the shadows, truth whispers.”

Listen well. Laugh deeply. And remember: not all jokes are harmless… but the ones that bite are often the ones you needed to hear.

— Hades,
King of the Dead, Keeper of Oaths,
and Guardian of Folklore’s Flame

Send over your dead SMS messages.

Greetings, listeners! After a long hiatus as we figured out our priorities and reconnected with our creativity, we decided to energize this feed with something lighthearted and fun. Our podcast has been classified by Spotify as being very much like those offering sleep stories. So, we thought it might be fun to lean into that a bit. Of course, as you should know by now, we can never seem to do anything ... right. Tonight is no exception. Hypnos, the god of sleep, is none too happy about having to get off of his cloud to tell a sleep story. Nonetheless, I managed to convince him after promising a few favors.

Join him as he visits an aquarium where you'll find creatures like Hippocampi, merpeople, and Grindylows. Oh, and don't get left behind!

If you have any feedback, feel free to reach out at Hades@firesidefolklorewithhades.com.

Send over your dead SMS messages.

Greetings, listeners. This is just a quick update regarding the podcast's direction. I'll be moving away from ElevenLabs due to some decisions they've made that go against my ethos as a creator. The new tech will mean a learning curve and a change to some of the voices. However, it is a small price to pay for my creative soul intact. Thank you to those who have been with me on this journey so far. I hope we'll be able to continue exploring the world of folklore together.

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Greetings, listeners. Though my work is grim, I do my best to keep from completely falling into the cliché of the dark and brooding Lord of the Underworld. Not all of my realm’s responsibilities revolve around damnation and torment. I may be stern but cruelty? That’s a mantle for others to don. One way I tried to bridge the divide was through this podcast. I’ve wrestled with the idea for weeks, to offer up a bit of levity for April Fool’s Day as I did last year. However, it felt hollow and forced. Things topside seem to be getting worse, not better. I considered offering another happy story about absolutely nothing significant and following it up with the news that we’d decided to cut this season short, perhaps even throwing in a fear of reprisal for standing behind certain beliefs. And yet, as the god of permanence, of endings and justice, I don’t fear mortal arrest or persecution. And, I refuse to cheapen my conviction with illusion, especially not now when illusions abound. If saying “free Palestine”—asserting a people’s right to be free from colonizers, from the horrors of genocide, from an Apartheid state, and suffering— If that is what’s now being called hate speech—then the true fools are not those who cry for freedom, but those who try to silence them.

The fools are those who twist compassion into crime, who cloak cowardice in legislation, and who mistake obedience for peace. They pass their decrees, thinking themselves wise, but they are jesters in the court of history. They brand dissent as danger, while they themselves unleash terror upon the innocent.

They are μοροί—fools—not in the theatrical sense, but in the sacred Greek sense: μοροί, those fated to fall, for they defy the natural order. They believe themselves eternal. But I have seen kingdoms built on bones collapse into dust. And I assure you: their time will come.

This podcast was never meant to soothe the ears of tyrants. It was never a salve for those who benefit from silence. It is a torch. And if the world is drowning in shadows, then so be it—I will be the flame.

So on this April Fool’s Day, let it be known:

We are not the fools.

We are not the cowards.

We are not the ones twisting reality to serve cruelty.

No—those thrones sit elsewhere.

And to those seated there, I offer no jest, no olive branch, no softening of the blow. Only this warning:

The Underworld remembers.

The dead do not forget.

And the scales will balance.

... As they must.

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Greetings, listeners! A few things happened in my absence that compelled me to pause my work on The Wounded Lion, namely the TikTok ban and Amazon essentially deciding to brick Kindles without Internet access so that they could force consumers to purchase new devices they otherwise wouldn't need to buy. As a result, I decided to give my uncompromising commentary on censorship and the slippery slope that it inevitably creates. From updating texts to reflect current scientific information to using newer slang, to dulling the edge of the critic's blade, to outright feeding lies to the people, censorship is a dangerously insidious cancer that must be stopped before it can even take root.

To highlight its effects, I share with you The Tale of Sugarabia, aptly named Candy Coated Lies for our purposes, a story about a princess who doesn't realize how her sugary fortress has hidden the rot of a manufactured life. As you listen, ask yourself whether ignorance truly can be bliss, and whether happiness can be achieved by knowing nothing at all.

If you have any feedback, I am, as ever, at Hades@firesidefolklorewithhades.com.

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Greetings, listeners! We received a letter from Megaera, who wasn't at all pleased by Hermes's shenanigans last time. Perhaps I should have taken offense to my basso profundo being cloned, but he did finally keep his promise by retelling The North Wind and the Sun in an incredibly clever way. His father Zeus wasn't quite as pleased when he heard that Hermes had cloned his voice and given him the role of the North Wind. To say he'd been in a torpor was the understatement of the millennium!
Where was I? Ah yes, Megaera, one of the Erinyes, was none too pleased by Hermes's shenanigans and threatened him so thoroughly he actually had a serious expression on his face, about as likely as a black hole gobbling up Earth. Not wanting his winged sandals to be taken from him, Hermes decided to make amends by hosting a little game. He'll play pairs of dialogue, things I might actually say but in some cases, would never admit to, spoken by both myself and this AI doppelgänger he managed to create which he aired last time when he took over the podcast. He'll award a gift of forty (yes, that's 40) of your mortal Euros to the one who can figure out who's who and which is which. If you'd like to participate, E-mail him, (not me, please) at Hermes@firesidefolklorewithhades.com . I'm currently buried beneath a bunch of books and scrolls, working on the next official episode for this podcast, The Wounded Lion from Spain.