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We hosted a sleepover and accidentally summoned chaos. We snacked, we sipped on Sleepy Sluts, and we spiraled. Jaylen has our hearts, Olandria is our queen, and Sabrina Carpenter might’ve broken the internet (again). We discuss album cover drama, AI Bigfoot, AI Barbie, and whatever else came out of our unwell little brains. No structure, just delusion and love island vibes.

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Leather seats are attacking us, we’re lowkey spiraling about turning 30, and Color Guard was our villain origin story. We’re in our mermaid era, obsessed with Addison Rae again, and booking Florida trips for a single latte and a whiff of body spray. It’s unhinged. It’s on brand.

Oh — and Buzzfeed says we’re the final girls in a slasher summer.

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It’s Father’s Day week! We found out which dad we serve, consider quitting everything, and possibly starting witchery. One of us met a man. One of us gave money to Co–Star. Guess who.

This week, we let astrology.com psychoanalyze us so you don't have to. Lyss is moody, Kate's aggressively into acts of service, and apparently the stars think we're a match made in spin class. We unpack our sun, moon, and rising signs, test our friendship compatibility, and yes-coffee was involved. And yes-Kate got competitive. Again.

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We kept it short this week, but the drama is intact. A roach tried to eat us, Kevin turned out to be Paul, and we believe in Shane Harper slander. Consider this your weekly chaos update. Also: Haley, blink twice if you need help.

This episode is sponsored by chaos, Moscow Mules, and financially reckless decisions. We're talking TikTok Shop regrets, influencer obsessions, and how Afterpay is ruining lives one click at a time.
Also on the docket: grey hair panic, fake cowgirl call-outs, Kylie & Timmy takes, and a full-blown ABBA meltdown. We survived on burnt toast and bacon, and honestly? It shows.

Grimm is done, we’re drinking margs, and the Met Gala gave us opinions. Kate’s bulldozing, Lyss is choosing cheeks out, and Zendaya remains mother. Oh—and there’s a game of Would You Rather that takes a turn, obviously.

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We almost died at a Travis Scott show, Kate's a horse girl, and Katy Perry didn't sing E.T. in space?? Also: stolen phones, '90s movie hot takes, Pedro Pascal thirst, and why slick back buns are a crime.

Warning: may contain zero new slang comprehension.