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  • 302: Conspiracy Corner: The Flatwoods Monster, AI Aliens, and Trees That Talk with Comedian CP
    2025/05/20
    Welcome to the pilot episode of Conspiracy Corner! Hosts Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud kick off the series with an epic dive into strange phenomena, ancient mysteries, and modern tech paranoia. Special guest CP joins to explore how seemingly unrelated conspiracies—from walking trees to ancient aliens—might all be connected.

    This episode covers:

    • The mysterious Flatwoods Monster encounter of 1952

    • If AI was gifted to us by aliens to mask their presence

    • Evolution’s weirdest tricks: spiders, glowing fish, and tree animals

    • The idea that God might just be running a simulation

    • What animals like dogs, whales, and sharks might already know about the universe

    • Red night vision goggles revealing demonic creatures during war

    It’s a wild, funny, and thought-provoking start to the series. Strap in and question everything!

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    31 分
  • 301: What’s Scarier: Ocean or Space? on DIYS with Sam Salem ​
    2025/05/15
    🤣 Welcome back to another wild ride on Dam Internet, You Scary! This week we’ve got your kid’s favorite teacher and internet chaos gremlin — Sam Salem — back in the building! 🎤🍽️

    https://www.instagram.com/samuelsleeves

    We are talking about:
    🥞 Writing essays at IHOP
    🔥 Petty clapbacks to internet trolls
    🐶 Why he refuses to call the dog “his”
    📞 Garfield phones mysteriously washing up on beaches
    🧱 And yes… the Bricked Up Boys are officially a thing now 👀💀

    Also…
    👩🏽‍🚀 Ocean vs. Space debate gets weird
    📦 A Chinese business owner drives 500 miles to throw hands over a bad review
    🤯 The weirdest compliment Sam ever got from a troll

    💬 Hosted by Tahir Moore & Patrick Cloud
    📺 New episodes every week with the funniest people on the internet.
    👊🏾 Don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE — or we might mail your roast to your job 📫🔥

    🔗 Chapters & Timestamps below!
    #DIYS #DamnInternetYouScary #SamSalem #ComedyPodcast #BrickedUpBoys #GarfieldPhone #PettyLevel100 #IHOPEssays

    00:00 – Sam Salem Returns: Panic Writing & Pancake Strategy
    02:30 – Sam’s Secret Weapon: All-You-Can-Eat Pancakes
    06:00 – Ginger Identity, Black Culture & Locks Debate
    13:30 – AI, Black Twitter & Sam’s Viral Videos
    17:00 – Cowboy Carter & Beyoncé Concert FOMO
    21:30 – Country Remixes That Shouldn’t Exist
    28:00 – The “Dog That Lives In My House”
    35:00 – Bricked Up Lifestyle & BlueChew Madness
    41:00 – The Great Garfield Phone Mystery
    44:30 – Internet Trolls, Doxxing, and Petty Revenge
    53:00 – Space vs Ocean: What’s Scarier?
    1:02:00 – DIYS Sign-Off & Final Laughs

    S/O to our Sponsors
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    59 分
  • 300: Crows Hold GRUDGES?! This Bird Attacks Her EVERY Day! on DIYS with Chris Sneed
    2025/05/09
    A crow that attacks ONE person every day?! Parrots ordering snacks on Alexa?? Cartel graveyards with air conditioning and balconies?! This episode of Dam Internet, You Scary! is full of the most insane real-life stories that’ll leave you shook and in stitches.

    💀 From birds with vendettas to million-dollar mausoleums, Tahir, Patrick, and guest Chris Sneed break it all down with nonstop laughs and wild takes.

    🎟️ Plus: Chris Sneed is filming his stand-up special “I Need Urgent Care” on June 26th at the Regent Theater — don’t miss it!
    https://www.ticketmaster.com/event/0900627BE3654976?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaeaIzJ6tdwJsC5yVBOdn-IQ-BjTplSDJedGGtgu390WM6HPUY4cNC1mq4vUyA_aem_KwNEdvAIjRpICjH3j9Jj-A

    🔔 Subscribe now for more hilarious episodes: @DamInternetYouScary

    🎙️ Producer: @HippieGoals

    📱 Follow the hosts:
    @tahirmoore | @PatrickCloudChannel

    Guest: Chris Sneed https://www.instagram.com/itschrissneed/

    🕒 CHAPTERS:
    Join our Patreon now!!
    https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary
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    1 時間 3 分
  • 299: China’s Super Soldiers, Creepy Heart Transplants & Hallucinogenic Fish w/ Devonte West
    2025/05/01
    This episode of Damn Internet, You Scary! is a full-blown ride.

    Guest: Devonte West https://www.instagram.com/_devontewest/

    Devonte West joins Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud for an unhinged convo that covers:

    Snail trail face masks 🐌
    Edible horror stories 🍪
    CIA-level hallucination fish 🐠
    The wildest heart transplant suicide story 🫀
    Purple not being real 👁️
    And China's terrifying new super soldier experiment 🧬

    It's skincare, science, and superpowers all rolled into one. Buckle up — this episode gets deep, weird, and hilarious.

    🔔 Like, subscribe & hit the bell — or risk eating a DMT fish by accident.

    S/O to our Sponsors
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    Blue Chew
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    0:00 - Glow, Sponges & Hot Oil Treatments
    1:18 - Spa Days & Korean Skincare
    2:31 - Snail Masks & Slippery Science
    5:15 - Compliments & Confidence
    8:12 - Devonte Joins the Chaos
    10:53 - Type Sh*t Global Culture Stories
    20:15 - Fish That Get You High?!
    23:00 - DMT, Edibles & Driving While High
    32:00 - Heart Transplant Suicide Mystery
    37:00 - Purple Isn't Real?!
    41:00 - Satellites, GPS Hacks & Creamer Prices
    45:00 - Coffee Subs, Skims & Bluechew
    49:00 - China's Super Soldiers
    53:00 - Custom Superpowers & The Real Goku Life


    Producer: @HippieGoals
    Join the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/daminternetyouscary
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    1 時間 17 分
  • 298: We Don’t Do Drugs, We Just Try Things | DIYS w/ Spank Horton
    2025/04/24
    This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. https://www.betterhelp.com/diys

    What happens when comedian Spank Horton pulls up to Dam Internet, You Scary!? Shirtless birthday parties, wild drug trips, international thirst stories, detachable sea penises, and cows who hate country music. Hosts Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud go toe-to-toe with Spank in one of the most hilariously unhinged episodes ever.

    💥 From talking ketamine to awkward strip club returns, from Brazilian magazine girls to frogs getting divorced for too much rain—this one has it ALL.

    🎤 Hosted by: Tahir Moore & Patrick Cloud
    🎧 Guest: Spank Horton https://www.instagram.com/spankhorton/
    🎥 Produced by: @HippieGoals

    📍 Chapters + Timestamps below 👇
    📲 Subscribe & hit the bell for more weekly chaos!
    🔗 Follow us on socials: @daminternetscary
    ✂️ Best moments from this episode? COMMENT BELOW!

    0:00 - The Freestyle Is Wild Right Away
    2:01 - Spank Talks Getting “Fired” by Kevin Hart
    4:04 - Kev’s Workout Rules & Phone Calls at 6AM
    5:10 - Spank’s Birthday Turn-Up: No Shirt in the Club
    7:00 - “Would You Take Your Shirt Off In Church?”
    9:00 - Spank’s Freestyle to a Mario Trap Beat
    11:10 - Macy’s Catalogs & Magazine Shopping Woes
    13:00 - Brazilian Magazine Girls & "Ordering by Name"
    15:10 - Beauty in Brazil vs. Getting Kidnapped
    17:00 - The Artist Who Drew Himself on Every Drug
    20:30 - Ranking Drug Portraits: Weed, Cocaine, Meth
    25:00 - Everyone Admits Which Ones They Tried
    27:00 - DMT Trips, Hieroglyphics & Lucy-Level Visuals
    30:00 - Spank Tries Ketamine—Then Rips His Shirt Off
    32:00 - “We Don’t Do Drugs, We Just Try Things”
    33:45 - Cows Hate Country Music?!
    35:00 - Wagyu Cows Live Better Than Us
    36:15 - Women’s Self-Defense Gloves from the 1800s
    38:10 - Sea Creatures with Detachable D**ks 🤯
    40:00 - Frog Marriage & the Flood It Caused
    43:00 - Spank’s Favorite City for Beautiful Women
    45:00 - India, Mia Khalifa & Trash City in Egypt
    48:00 - Spank’s Chaotic Jamaica Trip w/ 90 People
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    1 時間 6 分
  • 297: Are Spiders Plotting Against Us? + Downtown LA’s Creepiest Secrets on DIYS w/Vanessa Graddick
    2025/04/17
    🎙️ Welcome back to Damn Internet, You Scary! with your hosts @PatrickCloudChannel and @TahirMoore. This week’s hilarious guest is none other than comedian, writer, and mixologist-in-residence Vanessa Graddick! https://wwww.instagram.com/vanessagraddick

    In this episode:

    🍸 Vanessa drops drink game with edible glitter cocktails
    👮‍♂️ We dive into the wild conspiracy that Family Matters was a delusion created by Carl Winslow!
    🕷️ Spiders could theoretically eat all humans in under a year?! Say what?
    🌲 We explore the real-life Zone of Death loophole where you could legally get away with murder!
    🌆 Plus: the haunting side of downtown LA, from graffiti ghosts to pigeon-covered staircases.

    Don’t forget to like, comment, and SUBSCRIBE for more comedy, conspiracies, and chaos.

    💬 Drop your thoughts: What show from the 90s deserves a conspiracy theory?

    S/O to our Sponsors
    Blue Chew
    Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code DIYS -- just pay $5 shipping. https:/www.bluechew.com

    Prize Picks
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    play your first $5 lineup!

    0:00 - Kicking Things Off & Making Wishes at 12:34
    0:42 - Birthday Numbers & Seeing Patterns in Time
    1:21 - Can You Manifest the Clock?
    1:55 - Timing Needs to Be Organic
    2:29 - Sleepy Faces & Misinterpreted Drool
    3:02 - The Money Shot Debate
    3:15 - Titty Bang Failures & Bad Aim
    3:30 - Vasectomy Confessions & Reduced Velocity
    4:27 - The Brick House Blueprint
    5:03 - Invention: The Skee-Ball Sex Game
    5:37 - Olympic Score System for Sex
    6:14 - Global Expansion for Semen Games?!
    6:50 - Scoring Hair vs Headboard vs Butt
    7:35 - Missionary Skeeball Gets Competitive
    8:07 - Can Amazon Sell This?
    9:01 - Sitcom Theme Songs with a Trap Remix
    10:17 - Vanessa’s Glitter Cocktails & DIY Mixology
    11:22 - Frasier Love & Drink Inspiration
    12:12 - Sitcom Reboots & Night Court Talk
    13:49 - Kathy Bates in Matlock & Writing Classes
    15:17 - Sitcom Trap Beat Freestyle
    16:59 - Cheese is as Addictive as Cocaine?!
    17:32 - The Carl Winslow Multiverse Conspiracy
    19:42 - Typecasting & The Ghost of Urkel
    21:17 - Family Matters Is a Cop's Fantasy
    23:51 - Schizophrenia Dog Named Barbie 🐶
    24:35 - Could Spiders Eat All Humans?!
    26:20 - Slavery Stats & Spider Logic
    27:34 - If We Ate White People Instead of Chicken...
    28:40 - What If Don Julio Sponsored Cracker Barrel?
    29:58 - Ad Read: Bluechew Comedy Segment
    32:37 - Words We Can’t Say: Specificity & Naïveté
    33:43 - The Zone of Death: Legal Murder in Idaho?!
    36:08 - Yellowstone’s “Train Station” Theory
    38:43 - Downtown LA: Squatters, Drugs & Dodger Dogs
    43:57 - Man in a Diaper with Pigeons?!
    44:58 - Why Dodger Dogs Are Baseball's Real MVP
    45:40 - PrizePicks Sports Talk & Fantasy Betting
    51:20 - Cheese Debate Continues: Sharp Cheddar Wins
    55:55 - Vanessa’s Final Plugs & Upcoming Projects

    #DIYS #VanessaGraddick #FamilyMattersTheory #Spiders #ZoneOfDeath #ComedyPodcast #BlackCreators #urbanlegends

    Producer: @HippieGoals ​
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    57 分
  • 296: Frog or Lizard Afterlife? Terminal Man Story, Mario Debates + More | DIYS
    2025/04/10
    This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

    On this episode of Dam Internet, You Scary!, Tahir and Patrick go from conspiracy theories to hilarious hypotheticals. They dive into the real-life story behind The Terminal, uncover wild Mountain Dew conspiracy theories, and debate the practicality of Mario’s power-ups. Also—should you come back as a frog or a lizard in the next life? And how powerful is Dr. Doom really?

    We’re talking:

    Getting stuck in an airport for 18 years
    Frog butt cheeks
    Marvel movie hot takes
    Star or 1UP—what would you pick IRL?

    💥 Sponsored by Factor Meals & BetterHelp
    🍽️ Get 50% off at https://www.factormeals.com/diys50off
    🧠 Try online therapy at https://www.betterhelp.com/diys

    🔥 New episodes every week! Subscribe for more wild convos and nerd debates.

    0:00 – Intro + Martial Arts Fitness
    1:08 – Energy Drinks, Mornings & Sugar
    1:26 – Guest Cancellations & Old School Vibes
    2:00 – The Mountain Dew Conspiracy 🥤
    3:07 – The Terminal Was Real?!
    5:00 – Living in an Airport: Hacks & Struggles
    9:10 – Worst Airports Ranked ✈️
    14:30 – Vegas Airport = Chaos
    16:52 – Life Hacks & Crazy Tariffs
    18:00 – Billionaires Losing Billions
    20:00 – Jackie Chan Won’t Leave His Kids a Dime
    22:25 – Factor Meals Ad Read
    23:00 – Mario Star vs 1-Up Debate 🍄
    26:08 – Robbing a Bank with Mario Powers
    28:07 – First Animal That Doesn’t Need Oxygen
    30:25 – Animals That Don’t Drink Water
    34:13 – Would You Come Back as a Frog or Lizard? 🐸🦎
    36:11 – Poison Dart Frog Swag
    40:05 – BetterHelp Ad Read
    42:14 – Avengers: Endgame Deserves a Spot in Top 5
    44:13 – Marvel vs DC: Who’s Winning Now?
    48:00 – Doctor Doom is Tony Stark?!
    50:52 – Most Powerful Marvel Villains Ranked
    52:56 – Wanda’s True Power & Marvel Plotlines
    54:00 – Disney+ Pricing Woes
    55:00 – Sneak Peek: Sleeping Sickness Segment


    Join our Patreon now!!
    https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary
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    1 時間 7 分
  • 295: The Creepiest Ways to Memorialize Loved Ones?! | DIYS ft. MikeCakez
    2025/04/03
    In this hilarious and wild episode of Dam Internet, You Scary!, Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud are joined by viral TikTok sensation Mike @MikeCakez famous for his iconic catchphrase "Sir, Sir!" Mike shares behind-the-scenes secrets of going viral, his journey from engineering to content creation, and how he deals with constant bans from social media platforms.

    They also dive into some of the creepiest stories on the internet, including turning ashes into diamonds, preserving tattoos from loved ones as keepsakes, and poisonous plants that leave their victims smiling in death!

    S/O TO OUR SPONSORS
    SKIMS
    https://www.skims.com/diys

    PRIZE PICKS
    Download the app today and use code DIYS to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup!

    BLUE CHEW
    Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code DIYS -- just pay $5 shipping. https://www.bluechew.com

    KIKOFF
    Building credit can happen faster than you expect with Kikoff. Don’t wait and get your first month for just a dollar at https://www.GetKikoff.com/DIYS.


    🔥 Episode Highlights:

    Mike’s origin story & viral success secrets
    Why Facebook might be better than Instagram for creators
    Turning ashes into wearable jewelry & creepy memorial tattoos
    The "smiling" deadly plant: hemlock explained
    Wild tattoo and skin preservation trends

    😂 Join the convo—would you ever turn a loved one’s ashes into diamonds or preserve tattoos? Let us know!

    🎧 Subscribe to Dam Internet, You Scary! for weekly comedy, weird internet finds, and incredible guest stories!

    #MikeCakez #DamInternetYouScary #ComedyPodcast #ViralVideos #TikTokFame #WeirdFacts #CreepyStories #PatrickCloud #TahirMoore

    00:00 – Intro & Special Guest MikeCakez
    00:22 – Mike's Viral Success & "Sir, Sir!"
    02:17 – Origin of the “Sir, Sir!” Voice
    03:37 – The Video That Started It All
    05:37 – Instant Viral Success on TikTok
    08:05 – Getting Banned & Deleted on Instagram
    09:26 – Facebook’s Hidden Benefits for Creators
    10:42 – Why Older Audiences on Facebook Engage More
    12:16 – Weird Fact: The Origins of Toasting Drinks
    16:10 – Preserving Tattoos from Deceased Loved Ones
    19:46 – Would You Wear Boots Made from Human Skin?
    21:34 – Turning Human Ashes into Diamonds
    22:43 – Buried or Cremated? Hosts Reveal Preferences
    23:23 – Tahir’s Ideal Funeral: Viking Style
    25:29 – Deadly Plant: The Smiling Death (Hemlock)
    30:37 – Poison Ivy, Oak & Sumac Horror Stories
    32:30 – "Land Before Time" Dark Facts
    35:27 – Mike's Engineering Degree
    38:42 – MikeCakez’s Surprising Origin: Born in France
    41:18 – Tahir’s Bad Experience in Paris
    42:20 – Dream Travel Spots: Egypt, Japan & South Korea
    47:25 – MikeCakez Wants to Try Skiing
    49:14 – Wild Historical Fact: Painless 1887 Dentist Ad
    54:39 – How Mike Deals with Fan Recognition
    56:03 – MikeCakez’s Struggles with Constant Sweating
    57:28 – Ancient Preserved Tattoos (2,500 Years Old!)
    59:18 – Final Thoughts & Episode Wrap-Up

    Producer: @HippieGoals

    Join our Patreon now!!
    https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary
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    1 時間 8 分