Episode 184 - Theo Von - I Wish Someone Told Me to Have More Pride in My Family When I Was Younger

A recent of Theo Von's podcast made me think about the relationship between Dad's and Kids and Kids with their Dad's - check out the full clip here:

https://youtu.be/p-pqzPeAwvs

In a deeply personal reflection, comedian and podcaster Theo Von opens up about his relationship with his father, revealing the complex emotions and regrets he’s been working through as a son. The conversation is raw, honest, and ultimately hopeful—a journey from shame and judgment to understanding and healing.

Main Themes and Points:

Relating Through Shared Experience:

• Theo finds comfort in knowing others can relate to his story about having an older father. This shared experience creates a sense of connection and helps him feel less alone in his struggles.

Regret and Missed Opportunities:

• Looking back, Theo realizes he could have been a better son if he hadn’t judged his father so harshly. He acknowledges that circumstances weren’t ideal, but he now sees how his own judgments and lack of pride in his family shaped their relationship.

Shame and Self-Protection:

• As a child, Theo was embarrassed by his father and even joined others in making fun of his family situation. He reflects that this shame may have been a way to protect himself from the pain of getting close, knowing his father’s old age meant their time together was limited.

The Power of Self-Examination:

• Through writing about his resentments and anger, Theo uncovers deeper feelings—realizing he was angry at his father because he never truly knew him. This process of self-examination brings clarity and allows him to see his own role in the relationship.

Judgment as a Barrier:

• Theo recognizes that his judgment of his father, and of others, has kept him at a distance from real connection. He describes how judgment can become a habit that isolates us, tricking us into thinking we’re protecting ourselves when we’re actually missing out on love and closeness.

Taking Ownership and Finding Healing:

• Rather than blaming his father or circumstances, Theo chooses to take ownership of his part in the relationship. This shift gives him control, allowing him to forgive, apologize (even if only at his father’s grave), and rebuild memories with more compassion and less anger.

The Transformative Power of Reflection:

• As Theo works through his feelings, he notices that his memories of his father soften. The sharp edges of resentment give way to a gentler, more loving perspective. He emphasizes that healing comes from looking inward, understanding our own emotions, and being willing to let go of judgment.

Theo Von’s candid exploration of his relationship with his father is a reminder that regret and shame are universal, but so is the possibility of healing. By facing our judgments, taking responsibility for our actions, and choosing compassion over resentment, we can transform even the most difficult relationships—finding connection, understanding, and ultimately, love.

https://www.theovon.com/podcast

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https://dadspace.ca

music provided by Blue Dot Sessions

Song: The Big Ten https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/258270

Episode 183 - Andrew Goldsmith - Lessons from US Army Infantry and Army Ranger School Applied To Being a Dad

Andrew Goldsmith grew up in Los Angeles, California. In 2004, he joined the US Army infantry where he served as a machine gunner, team leader, and squad leader during nearly five years of service. Andrew deployed to Iraq twice, in 2006 and 2008, and graduated US Army Ranger School in 2008.

After leaving the Army in 2009, Andrew studied philosophy at the University of Hawaii. In 2011, he self-published his war-time memoirs, Zarqawi’s Ice Cream: Tales of Mediocre Infantrymen. Later, he would go onto to earn his law degree from the Pepperdine School of Law and passed the California Bar Exam in 2016.

Andrew has studied abroad in Spain and Uganda and adventured in many parts of the world including Iraq, Qatar, China, Mexico, and Western and Central Europe. He has spent time in almost every state in the United States, including touring the country by van, twice, and skateboarding down the entire coast of California in 2013.

Presently, Andrew is a practicing attorney, small businessman, and author. He enjoys skateboarding long distances, spending time with his family, and has a black belt in Gracie Jiu Jitsu.

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https://dadspace.ca

music provided by Blue Dot Sessions

Song: The Big Ten https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/258270

Episode 182 - Teaching Boys to Be Men - The Role of Protection and Responsibility

The opposite of toxic masculinity is often described as positive masculinity or healthy masculinity. This form of masculinity encourages men to be emotionally expressive, supportive, and inclusive, rather than aggressive, controlling, or emotionally closed off. Positive masculinity is about being secure in oneself, communicating in healthy ways, showing vulnerability, and caring for others. It promotes growth, encouragement, and authentic self-expression, allowing men to define what being a man means to them in a way that is adaptive, prosocial, and socially responsible

While toxic masculinity is associated with dominance, aggression, and emotional insensitivity, positive masculinity emphasizes traits such as honesty, openness, empathy, and the willingness to protect and support others without resorting to harmful behaviors. It also involves striving for personal growth, building healthy relationships, and contributing positively to family and community.

Some sources also refer to this opposite as heroic masculinity or simply humanity, highlighting the idea that men can embrace both traditionally masculine and feminine traits in a balanced and authentic way.

In summary, the opposite of toxic masculinity is a version of masculinity that is emotionally healthy, inclusive, supportive, and rooted in positive values and personal authenticity

For young men, it’s valuable to restore an aspirational vision of masculinity-one that can serve as a positive code of conduct.

Embracing either masculinity or femininity, depending on what feels natural, is perfectly valid. When it comes to masculinity, three key pillars stand out: being a provider, a procreator, and a protector.

Provider:

Men should consider taking economic responsibility for themselves and their households, especially early in their careers. Sometimes this means being the primary earner, and other times it means supporting a partner who excels in that role by contributing in other important ways at home. True masculinity includes supporting your partner and stepping up wherever needed.

Procreator:

The drive to seek romantic connection can be a force for personal growth if channeled positively-helping men become kinder, stronger, and more attentive to themselves and others. Simple acts like taking care of your appearance and initiating contact matter. Despite changing social narratives, many women still appreciate when men take the initiative in a respectful and safe way.

Protector:

A core aspect of masculinity is the instinct to protect-not just physically, but also by standing up for others in social situations. Whether it’s ensuring people feel safe in public or defending those who are being unfairly criticized, men should default to a protective stance. This extends to advocating for anyone who is being marginalized, regardless of personal beliefs.

Ultimately, masculinity can be a positive guidepost. If you strive to give more than you take, contribute to your community, and protect and support those around you, you embody the best of what it means to be a man.

Watch the clip referenced - https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMBTB3KG7/

https://profgmedia.com/

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https://dadspace.ca

music provided by Blue Dot Sessions

Song: The Big Ten https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/258270