In this episode of Co-Parenting Beyond Conflict, host Sol welcomes Paulette Rigo, founder of Better Divorce Academy, who shares her personal journey through divorce and her transition into divorce coaching. Paulette discusses the common challenges faced by co-parents post-judgment, the importance of effective communication, and the emotional complexities involved in navigating new relationships after divorce. She emphasizes the need for self-reflection and learning from past mistakes to foster healthier co-parenting dynamics and personal growth.

Learn more about Better Divorce Academy at: https://betterdivorceacademy.com/

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Keywords
co-parenting, divorce, mediation, parenting plans, emotional well-being, family dynamics, communication, divorce coaching, child development, self-reflection

Takeaways

• Paulette Rigo's journey into divorce coaching stemmed from her own challenging experience with divorce.
• Co-parents often face emotional and logistical challenges after legal judgments are finalized.
• Effective communication is crucial for successful co-parenting, especially when dealing with parenting plans.
• Children's adaptability to divorce varies; understanding their perspective is essential.
• Self-reflection is key to personal growth and avoiding past mistakes in future relationships.
• Divorce is a significant change, not a failure, and should be approached with a growth mindset.
• The B-I-F-F method can help manage communication with a difficult co-parent.
• Maintaining emotional well-being is vital during and after divorce.
• Revisiting parenting plans regularly can help accommodate changing circumstances.
• Building a support team, including mental health professionals, can aid in co-parenting success.

Sound Bites
"I believe in love. I believe in marriage."
"The emotional part is a huge shift."
"Divorce is not about blame, it's about change."
"Keep your wits about you."
"The best tool I can teach people is B-I-F-F."

Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Co-Parenting Challenges
05:14 Paulette's Journey to Divorce Coaching
10:19 Common Co-Parenting Challenges
16:46 Navigating New Relationships and Change
22:44 Learning from Divorce: The Importance of Self-Reflection

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In this conversation, Anne Wintemute, co-founder and CEO of Aimee Says, discusses the complexities of co-parenting in high-conflict situations, particularly for survivors of relationship abuse. She emphasizes the importance of building a support system, navigating post-separation abuse, and effective communication strategies. The discussion also highlights the role of AI in providing accessible support for those dealing with coercive control and the limitations of the family court system in recognizing these dynamics. Wintemute advocates for a shift towards using technology to empower individuals in their co-parenting journeys.

Learn more about Aimee Says at https://aimeesays.com/

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Keywords

co-parenting, relationship abuse, AI support, family court, emotional abuse, support systems, parallel parenting, post-separation, coercive control, mental health

Takeaways

• Understanding the complexities of high-conflict co-parenting is crucial.
• Post-separation abuse often escalates and requires careful navigation.
• Building a support system is essential for mental health during separation.
• Isolation can be detrimental; companionship is vital.
• Effective communication is key in co-parenting relationships.
• AI can provide instant support and resources for those in need.
• The family court system often fails to recognize coercive control.
• It's important to strategize before entering the legal system.
• AI can help individuals regain agency and autonomy in their situations.
• Radical acceptance of uncontrollable factors can aid in healing.

Sound Bites

"Isolation is the number one mental health killer."

"You cannot fight fire with fire."

"The system will be there to support me."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Anne Wintemute

00:34 Understanding Post-Separation Abuse

02:42 Navigating the Challenges of Leaving an Abusive Relationship

03:46 Building a Support System During Separation

04:53 The Impact of Co-Parenting on Relationships

06:35 The Role of Friends and Family in Supporting Co-Parents

07:44 Communication Strategies in High-Conflict Situations

09:14 The Importance of Effective Communication

11:09 Leveraging AI for Co-Parenting Support

12:39 Introducing Amy Says: AI for Co-Parents

14:19 Comparing Amy Says to Traditional Chatbots

17:34 Coercive Control and the Family Court System

20:09 The Future of Technology in Family Law

24:25 What's Next for Amy Says?

26:50 Parting Words and Conclusion

27:18 Understanding the Dynamics of Co-Parenting

27:33 Introduction to the Podcast's Purpose

27:36 Exploring Key Themes in the Conversation

27:58 Outro & Disclaimer

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In this conversation, Erika Wright shares her personal journey with codependency, exploring its definitions, societal roots, and impacts on relationships, particularly in co-parenting. She emphasizes the importance of self-love, authenticity, and vulnerability in breaking free from codependent patterns. The discussion also touches on the challenges of navigating co-parenting dynamics, recognizing codependent behaviors, and the significance of encouraging children's voices in the process. Ultimately, Erika advocates for embracing one's true self as a path to healing and healthier relationships.

Learn more about Healing Codependency at https://erikawright.org/

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Keywords

codependency, co-parenting, self-love, relationships, emotional health, parenting, vulnerability, narcissism, healing, personal growth

Takeaways

• Codependency often stems from unconscious patterns learned in childhood.
• Recognizing codependent behaviors is the first step to healing.
• Non-codependency involves embracing vulnerability and truth.
• Co-parenting requires a new understanding of relationships post-divorce.
• Self-love is essential for breaking the cycle of codependency.
• Children's voices should be prioritized in co-parenting decisions.
• Emotional honesty is crucial in high-stakes situations like court.
• The fear of losing love drives many codependent behaviors.
• Parenting choices are evolving, allowing for more conscious decisions.
• Divorce can be a powerful catalyst for personal growth.

Sound Bites

"Codependency is manipulation and control."
"I just want my parents to be happy."
"You can do everything about yourself."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Codependency and Personal Journey

02:24 Understanding Codependency: Definitions and Impacts

04:37 The Innocence of Codependency and Its Origins

06:26 Signs of Codependency: Recognizing the Patterns

08:42 The Fear of Losing Love and Its Implications

10:37 Navigating Co-Parenting: Embracing Change

12:32 The Role of Narcissism in Codependent Relationships

14:31 Breaking the Cycle: Healing and Learning in Parenting

16:42 The Evolution of Parenting: Choice and Consciousness

18:58 Non-Codependent Parenting: Acceptance and Presence

22:30 The Journey of Lifelong Love

25:11 Navigating Emotions in Parenting

27:38 Understanding Children's Perspectives

29:54 Breaking Free from Codependency

31:34 Self-Love as a Foundation

33:39 Building Trust with Yourself

34:52 Translating Parental Love to Self-Love

36:37 The Impact of Personal Responsibility

37:47 Embracing Change and Growth

37:58 Connecting with Erika Wright

39:14 Outro & Disclaimer

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In this conversation, Dr. Don Gordon, founder and the Executive Director of The Center for Divorce Education, discusses the complexities of co-parenting, particularly in the context of divorce. He highlights the importance of understanding loyalty conflicts, the impact of parental behaviors on children, and effective communication strategies for co-parents. Dr. Gordon emphasizes the need for self-regulation techniques for parents and the psychological effects of conflict on children. He also provides resources for co-parents to improve their relationships and parenting skills.

Learn more about The Center for Divorce Education programs at: https://divorce-education.com/

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Keywords
co-parenting, divorce, loyalty conflicts, child psychology, communication strategies, parental behavior, conflict resolution, emotional literacy, self-regulation, parenting resources

Key Takeaways

• The absence of a biological father is a risk factor for delinquency.
• Loyalty conflicts can significantly affect children's emotional well-being.
• Parents often unknowingly put their children in loyalty binds.
• Teaching parents about their impact on children can motivate change.
• Effective communication is crucial in co-parenting relationships.
• Using 'I' messages can diffuse conflict between co-parents.
• Self-regulation techniques can help parents manage stress.
• Children's cortisol levels can be affected by parental conflict.
• Active listening fosters better communication with children.
• Resources are available to help co-parents navigate their challenges.

Resources Mentioned

Dr. Gordon’s Programs & Websites:

• Children in Between (4-hour co-parenting course) online.divorce-education.com
• High Conflict Solutions (for high-conflict co-parenting situations)
  highconflictsolutions.com
• Children in Between for Kids (teaches kids ages 7-14 emotional literacy & self-regulation) childreninbetweenforkids.com
• Parenting Wisely (general parenting skills program) FamilyWorksInc.com

Books & Experts Mentioned:

• No Bad Parts – Book by Dr. Richard Schwartz (focuses on inner healing and personal growth using the Internal Family Systems model)
• Dr. Warren Farrell – Expert on active listening and relationship-building strategies

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Co-Parenting Challenges
02:47 Understanding Loyalty Conflicts in Co-Parenting
05:55 Identifying Unintentional Harmful Behaviors
08:50 Effective Communication Strategies for Co-Parents
11:52 Navigating High Conflict Co-Parenting Relationships
15:36 The Impact of Conflict on Children
19:45 Self-Regulation Techniques for Parents
24:40 Focusing on Personal Growth and Accountability
28:00 Communication Strategies for Children
30:39 Leveraging Technology in Co-Parenting
31:05 Resources for Co-Parents
32:50 Introduction to Co-Parenting Beyond Conf

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In this enlightening conversation, Jill Barnett Kaufman shares her expertise on co-parenting, drawing from her personal experiences and professional background as a therapist and divorce coach. She discusses the complexities of navigating co-parenting relationships, especially in high-conflict situations, and emphasizes the importance of communication, boundaries, and supporting children through the emotional challenges of divorce. Jill also highlights the evolving landscape of divorce support, including the rise of mediation and coaching, and offers valuable advice for those considering remarriage and blending families

Learn more about Jill Barnett Kaufman’s coaching, therapy and mediation work at: https://www.divorcecoachjill.com/

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Keywords
co-parenting, divorce, parenting strategies, high conflict, communication, family dynamics, support groups, healing, boundaries, remarriage

Key Takeaways
Co-parenting requires a shift from couple dynamics to a colleague-like relationship.
Respect and communication are key in co-parenting.
The BIFF method helps manage communication with high-conflict individuals.
Setting clear boundaries is essential in co-parenting.
Journaling and support groups can aid in emotional healing.
Children should not be burdened with adult conflicts.
Encouraging children to maintain relationships with both parents is crucial.
Awareness of parental alienation and narcissism is increasing.
People are seeking alternatives to traditional divorce methods.
Take time to understand yourself before entering a new relationship.

Sound Bites

"You have to respect each other."
"The BIFF method is a great tool."
"Journaling is really good."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Co-Parenting Challenges
03:45 Transitioning from Partners to Co-Parents
06:18 Navigating High Conflict Situations
08:14 Setting Boundaries in Co-Parenting
10:26 Supporting Children Through Divorce
13:07 Communication Strategies for Co-Parents
15:17 The Importance of Collaboration vs. Parallel Parenting
17:32 Recognizing and Avoiding Manipulative Behaviors
19:55 Trends in Co-Parenting and Divorce
22:18 Advice for Remarriage and Blended Families
24:24 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
29:14 Outro
29:56 Disclaimer

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In this episode of Coparenting Beyond Conflict, Dr. Amy J.L. Baker, a developmental psychologist and expert in parental alienation, discusses the complexities of co-parenting and its psychological impacts on children. She explains the behaviors that contribute to alienation, how to identify them, and the importance of maintaining healthy communication between co-parents.

Dr. Baker also provides insights into recognizing early warning signs of alienation, distinguishing it from legitimate rejection, and offers practical strategies for navigating high-conflict co-parenting situations. The conversation emphasizes the need for resilience and hope for targeted parents, highlighting that relationships can shift and improve over time.

You can learn more about Dr. Baker’s books, research, and talks at AmyJLBaker.com

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Books by Amy JL Baker:

• Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind
• Co-parenting with a Toxic Ex: What to Do When Your Ex-Spouse Tries to Turn the Kids Against You

Keywords
parental alienation, co-parenting, child psychology, family dynamics, psychological maltreatment, parenting strategies, child development, family conflict, emotional well-being, resilience

Key Takeaways

• Parental alienation involves one parent fostering a child's unjustified rejection of the other parent.
• Not all children who reject a parent are alienated; some may be estranged due to legitimate reasons.
• There are 17 primary parental alienation behaviors that parents should be aware of.
• It's crucial for parents to reflect on their own behaviors to avoid inadvertently alienating their children.
• Distinguishing between alienation and legitimate rejection requires ruling out abuse or neglect
• High-conflict co-parents should always show up for their parenting time, regardless of the situation.
• When children express negative comments about a parent, responding with care and openness is important.
• Maintaining hope and connection with children is vital for targeted parents, even in difficult circumstances.

Sound Bites
"You do have to rule out abuse or neglect."
"Always, always, always show up."

Chapters
02:03 Understanding Parental Alienation
03:38 Identifying Alienating Behaviors
06:31 Recognizing Warning Signs in Children
07:18 Distinguishing Alienation from Legitimate Rejection
10:38 The Impact on Extended Family
12:16 Practical Tips for High-Conflict Co-Parenting
14:40 Navigating Child Behavior During Transitions
16:56 Responding to Negative Comments About Co-Parents
18:56 Navigating Child Relationships and Self-Awareness
20:27 The Role of Perspective in Parenting
21:35 Addressing Co-Parenting Challenges
23:13 Managing Disrespectful Behavior from Children
26:30 Understanding Parental Alienation
30:24 Messages of Hope for Targeted Parents
34:44 Understanding the Dynami

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In this conversation, Heather Tannenbaum shares her journey from experiencing divorce to becoming a divorce coach. She discusses the importance of co-parenting coaches, the dynamics of building a co-parenting team, and how to use divorce as an opportunity for personal growth. Heather emphasizes the significance of putting children first, navigating toxic relationships, and the ongoing nature of co-parenting. She provides insights on creating effective parenting plans, communication strategies, and the importance of self-care for co-parents.

Learn more about Heather Tannenbaum’s book and coaching practice: https://reconstructinghappy.com/

Read Heather’s article on the Best Interest Blog, “How to Avoid Divorce Court and Build a Brighter Future”: https://bestinterest.app/avoid-divorce-court-and-build-a-brighter-future/

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Keywords
divorce, co-parenting, divorce coaching, parenting plans, self-care, communication, family law, personal growth, toxic relationships, parenting strategies

Key Takeaways

• Divorce can lead to personal growth and new opportunities.
• Co-parenting coaches provide valuable support and perspective.
• It's essential to put children's needs first in co-parenting.
• Compartmentalizing divorce issues from parenting is crucial.
• Creating a detailed parenting plan helps avoid future disputes.
• Communication parameters can improve co-parenting dynamics.
• Self-care is vital for co-parents to maintain well-being.
• Conflict, not divorce, is what negatively impacts children.
• Building a supportive co-parenting team can ease the process.
• Finding joy and fulfillment outside of parenting is important.

Sound Bites

"What are my next steps here?"
"Maximize the quality of that time."
"You can control your part."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Co-Parenting Coaching
02:11 The Journey to Becoming a Divorce Coach
02:39 The Role of Co-Parenting Coaches
03:52 Building a Co-Parenting Team
05:18 Using Divorce as a Growth Opportunity
07:10 Navigating Toxic Co-Parenting Relationships
08:39 The Importance of Prioritizing Children
09:53 Understanding the Long-Term Nature of Co-Parenting
11:27 Common Mistakes in Parenting Plans
13:31 Effective Communication Strategies
15:32 Self-Care for Co-Parents
17:39 Final Thoughts on Divorce and Co-Parenting
24:54 Wrap Up
24:57 Disclaimer

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In this conversation, family attorney Ron Gore discusses the complexities of co-parenting and mediation, sharing insights from his experience in family law. He emphasizes the importance of understanding the role of a guardian ad litem, addressing misconceptions about co-parenting, and recognizing the power dynamics that can arise in high-conflict situations.

Ron offers practical advice for parents navigating these challenges, including the significance of communication, the potential benefits of technology, and the necessity of proper documentation in legal agreements. He also highlights the impact of co-parenting dynamics on children and provides strategies for parents to cope with stress and improve their relationships with their co-parents.

Ron Gore's Coparent Academy can be found at: https://coparentacademy.com/

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Keywords
co-parenting, mediation, family law, guardian ad litem, high conflict, parallel parenting, technology in co-parenting, parenting plans, communication, legal advice

Key Takeaways

• Co-parenting requires ongoing communication and adjustment.
• Understanding the role of a guardian ad litem is crucial.
• Children are individuals with their own needs and preferences.
• High conflict situations often require self-reflection and change.
• Parallel parenting can be a last resort in high conflict cases.
• Children's responses to co-parenting stress vary by age and gender.
• Professional support is essential for emotional well-being.
• Documentation of agreements is vital for legal protection.
• Parenting plans should be tailored to the child's needs and family dynamics.
• Focus on behaviors rather than labels when dealing with co-parents.

Sound Bites

"I think I started off a little mercenarily."
"A GAL is a guardian ad litem."
"Don't handle it on your own."

Chapters

00:00 Ron Gore's Journey into Family Law
02:41 Misconceptions in Co-Parenting
02:46 Top Advice for New Co-Parents
24:05 Understanding Co-Parenting Dynamics
26:08 Creating Effective Parenting Plans
28:55 Common Conflicts in Parenting Plans
31:09 The Importance of Communication in Co-Parenting
34:15 Outro

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