In this weekly Sex and Intimacy Q&A, Dr. Rob and Tami answer questions about sex, cheating, intimacy, betrayal and more. They explore chronic lying, the power of mindset, the difference between firm boundaries and abuse, and more of the common but painful issues that betrayed partners face.

TAKEAWAYS:

[:30] I don’t want my betraying partner to touch me. How can I show empathy?

[5:42] How can I address our lack of emotional and physical intimacy?

[12:08] Is separation the right next step in recovery?

[13:19] EMDR and somatic experience techniques as tools for moving past trauma.

[18:11] Recovery work is essential in healing.

[21:56] My partner is physically present but emotionally checked out of recovery.

[30:20] Choosing a different path in the recovery process.

[33:16] What is the difference between being firm and being abusive?

[42:22] My partner’s lying addiction is worse than his porn addiction. What treatment plan is available for lying?

[46:37] How can I ask my partner about her recovery healing path when she won’t open up to me?

[50:05] What is the goal of separation?

[52:00] How can I change my mindset about my slow recovery?

RESOURCES:

Seekingintegrity.com

Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com

Sexandrelationshiphealing.com

Intherooms.com

Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss

Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES

• “You might get validation wrong, but doing nothing makes it worse than trying something and not doing it perfectly.”

• “You can’t work on trauma when you’re still acting out.”

• “Are you more focused on your pain or your healing?”

• “The recovery battle has more to do with the choices you’re making than the things that happened to you.”

• “People who are committed to the recovery process are willing to do whatever it takes to be on a different path.”

• “You don’t have to be hit to be profoundly abused.”

• “You cannot remain a liar and be in active recovery.”