Do you ever feel like you’re performing during sex — instead of actually experiencing it?

In this interview episode, I talk with researcher Noémie Viens about how perfectionism can quietly shape our sex lives.

We unpack her study on sexual perfectionism — including its connection to shame, frustration, anxiety, and desire — and why some forms of perfectionism are actually linked to more sexual desire… but not always for the reasons you’d expect.

You’ll learn:

→ Why performance pressure doesn’t just affect men — and how it shows up differently in women and men

→ The 3 different forms of perfectionism, and how each one impacts desire, pleasure, and sexual wellbeing

→ A free couples exercise to help you reflect on how perfectionism might be affecting your sex life — and how to shift from performance to pleasure

The study covered in the episode is: Multidimensional Perfectionism and Sexual Difficulties Among Adult Couples: A Dyadic Cross-Sectional and Longitudinal Study written by Viens et al. and can be found here: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2025.2456117?src=exp-la

📝 Grab your free exercise connected to this episode here: https://leighnoren.com/podcast-resources

🎧 Listen in — and if you find yourself nodding along, pass it on to someone who needs to hear this too.

Interested in my services? Check them out here: https://leighnoren.com/all-services

Want to join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire? Here’s the link: https://leighnoren.com/redesire-sex-drive-course-apply

Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link: https://airtable.com/apploL0ElRa01lJAk/pagT9VXL3OG25BwvA/form