In this week’s episode, Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy unpack the powerful topic of expectations—focusing on how to clearly express what you need from your spouse. With honest conversation, a willingness to listen, and an open heart, you can transform how you communicate and connect in your relationship.

Quotes from this episode:

“I just thought you knew. And when you didn’t I would go along and get resentful”

“We were trying to fit each other in the mold.”

“Our first big argument scared the heck out of me. My unrealistic expectation was that we would never fight.”

“It’s a good idea to have a signal or cue so that you make your spouse aware.”

Questions for Reflection:

What are some expectations—spoken or unspoken—that we each bring into our marriage, and how well do we feel they’ve been understood by each other?

When was a time we misunderstood one another because expectations weren’t clearly communicated? What can we learn from that moment?

How can we create more space in our relationship for honest, judgment-free conversations about what we each need or hope for?

What’s one expectation we can both express more clearly this week—and how can we support each other in meeting it with love and grace?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Find Dr. Kim on Instagram

• This month’s resource is for every couple. Love that Honors: A 13 Day Challenge for Couples. Honor and respect aren’t always our first response or priority. This challenge will help you love your spouse the way the Lord has called you to love your spouse.

• When you’re frustrated, it’s easy to let words fly out of your mouth. Our new FREE resource: 17 Unintentionally Disrespectful Phrases To Cut Out When Speaking To Your Spouse will help couples choose words that bring life instead of cause chaos.

• Awesome Marriage has a great Premarital course to help couples have important conversations before their big day. Communicate expectations effectively and be proactive in learning your future spouse with this great course. Already married? Share this course with a couple who’s looking forward to their big day.

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you intentionally choose to puruse the marriage God intended, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: 14 Keys to Lasting Love

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !

• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy.

In today’s episode, we’re diving into a powerful truth: the health of your marriage often comes down to what you choose to focus on. It’s easy to fixate on what’s not working, letting small annoyances grow into mountains of frustration. But what if the key to deeper connection and lasting joy is found in a simple but radical posture—gratitude?

We’ll explore how contentment isn’t resignation, but an intentional choice to see the blessings amidst the imperfections. You’ll hear honest reflections on prioritizing your spouse, the life-giving role of quality time, and how to navigate conflict in ways that build satisfaction, not resentment. Whether you're newly married or decades in, this conversation is a fresh reminder that gratitude, not settling, is the foundation of a thriving Christian marriage.

Episode highlights:

Feeling content in marriage is different from settling.

There’s a way to work through conflict that makes both spouses feel more satisfied.

Healthy conflict resolution is one of the strongest predictors of marriage satisfaction.

Silent discontentment leads to resentment that erodes at the foundation of your marriage.

The key is finding solutions that honor both spouses perspectives.

Questions to reflect:

1. What are three things about our marriage that you’re grateful for right now?
   
   
2. Are there any small annoyances in our relationship that we’ve let build up? How can we address them gently and respectfully?
   
   
3. How can we be more intentional about choosing each other—especially in the areas where our preferences or personalities differ?

Quotes from today’s episode:

“I found myself focusing on the things that weren’t working in my marriage instead of thinking about the things that were.”

“Small annoyances can grow into mountains of frustration”

“Settling comes from a place of resignation”

“Contentment flows from gratitude, an intentional choice we make.”

“Contentment says I see the imperfections in our marriage but I choose to focus on the blessings.”

“Nancy comes before my personal preferences.”

“The key word is choice.”

“Have a posture of gratitude while understanding there is room for growth.”

“Quality time is oxygen for your marriage”

"There’s a way to work through conflict that makes both spouses feel more satisfied."

Mentioned in this episode:

• Use our Marriage Reframing Challenge to change your perspective about your spouse and/or your marriage.

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you intentionally choose to pursue the marriage God intended, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: 5 Marriage Lies to Defeat with Biblical Truth

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !

• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy.