In this episode of Autistic FM, we dive into Brian Beames’ controversial book, Autistic Thinking, which boldly claims to have found the “cure” for autism. Spoiler: it hasn’t.

Haje dissects the book’s misguided ideas—ranging from equating autism to a literary invention to suggesting it can be “cured” by simply changing self-perception. The discussion not only critiques Beames’ pseudoscientific assertions but also explores the harm such narratives can inflict on the autistic community.

This episode is both a takedown of dangerously narrow-minded book - and a celebration of meaningful works that embrace neurodiversity. Haje offers his own reflections on autism, identity, and the transformative power of understanding and acceptance.

Better things to read

If you’re looking for informed, compassionate, and well-researched perspectives on autism, here are some excellent alternatives:

• Look Me in the Eye by John Elder Robison: A heartfelt memoir that captures the struggles and joys of living as an autistic person.

• Unmasking Autism by Devon Price: A must-read exploration of masking and how to embrace authenticity.

• NeuroTribes by Steve Silberman: A deep dive into the history of autism and the neurodiversity movement.

• Thinking in Pictures by Temple Grandin: A classic that offers insight into the autistic mind through Temple’s experiences.

• The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon: A beautiful work of fiction that provides a glimpse into autistic perception.

Trigger Warnings

This episode discusses themes of eugenics, ableism, and harmful stereotypes about autism. While graphic details are not included, the topics may be distressing for some listeners. Please take care of yourself and listen only if you feel prepared.

Just a quick announcement: From episode 10 onward, we will be publishing new episodes on Mondays and Thursdays!

In this episode of Autistic FM, we sit down with Cher, creator of the TikTok page “Navigating Neurospicy Love,” where she shares her journey of loving and living with her late-diagnosed autistic and ADHD husband, Darren. After 27 years of marriage, Darren’s diagnosis has been a turning point, offering clarity and transforming their relationship. Cher shares candid stories about the challenges of late diagnosis, navigating communication hurdles, and learning to support a neurodivergent partner while taking care of herself.

Cher opens up about the unique struggles and joys of neurodiverse relationships. She talks about finding resources when there were none, overcoming societal misconceptions about autism, and how patience, understanding, and a bit of humor can make all the difference. Her TikTok project aims to foster understanding and support for others in similar relationships, providing a much-needed voice for neurotypical partners navigating neurodiversity.

We explore how Cher and Darren have developed tools to communicate better, the impact of sensory sensitivities on daily life, and how identifying as neurodivergent has reshaped their dynamic. Cher also shares practical advice for couples managing the complexities of neurodiverse love and why open conversations about trauma and masking are crucial for healing and growth.

Topics covered in Episode 10

• Late Diagnosis: Darren’s autism diagnosis after 25 years of marriage and how it changed everything.

• Navigating Neurodiverse Relationships: How Cher and Darren have learned to support each other through communication, understanding, and humor.

• Sensory Sensitivities: The small adjustments that make a big difference in daily life for neurodiverse couples.

• TikTok Advocacy: Cher’s mission to support neurotypical partners and foster greater understanding of neurodivergence.

• Masking & Identity: The challenges of unmasking and how it affects neurodiverse relationships.

• Communication Tools: Techniques Cher and Darren use to bridge their differences and find connection.

About Cher

Cher is the creator of “Navigating Neurospicy Love,” (@neurospicy.love4) a TikTok page dedicated to sharing insights and advice for partners of neurodivergent individuals. She lives in Madison, Wisconsin, where she continues to explore how love, patience, and humor can help navigate the complexities of neurodiverse relationships.

Resources & Links Mentioned

• Navigating Neurospicy Love: Cher’s TikTok page (@neurospicy.love4) , sharing lessons from her journey.

• Books & Shows Referenced: Atypical, Rain Man (1988) and Love on the Spectrum.