Are Your Expectations Really the Problem — or Is That Just What You've Been Told?

Research shows that expectations can be a major source of stress, anxiety, and even the breakdown of trust and respect in our relationships. But let’s challenge the tired narrative that women’s so-called “too high expectations” are to blame.

In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, I flip the script. We take a closer look at the real issue: the difference between expectations (often shaped by social norms and limiting stereotypes) and requirements or standards (which are rooted in self-respect, self-worth, and self-care).

The real question isn’t, “Are my expectations too high?” It’s: “What do I truly require in my relationships—and why?”

Spoiler alert: You are allowed—encouraged, even—to set clear, healthy standards for how you want and deserve to be treated. This episode is your permission slip to stop shrinking, stop second-guessing, and start owning your requirements unapologetically.

Tune in for a powerful mindset shift—from bending to meet others’ comfort zones to boldly honoring your own. Let’s stop blaming women for wanting more, and start asking why we’ve been taught to settle for less.

Referenced Episodes:

Young Men are Opting Out of Marriage and Relationships. Should We Care? (March 2023)

Comparison is the Thief of Joy (May 2023)

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

We’re constantly reminded to take time for ourselves, to prioritize self-care, to fill our own cup first. These messages are everywhere—but let’s be honest, it’s not always that simple. Life has a way of stacking the deck against us. The expectations never stop piling up. We’re juggling so many responsibilities—personally, professionally, emotionally—and somehow we’re supposed to keep all the balls in the air…with a smile on our face.

In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, I explore the radical idea of accepting the chaos—acknowledging it without judgment—and finding ways to care for ourselves within it. Not after everything is calm. Not when the to-do list is done. Now.

This is about creating a sustainable practice of peace. It’s about showing up with intention, even in the messiness. Being mindful of how we feel, how we move through the world, and the energy we bring into our relationships and spaces.

References:

The Blissful Mind website https://theblissfulmind.com/

https://recreation.ku.edu/seven-pillars-self-care#

Studies show that mothers of children with autism experience stress and depression levels on par with those of active combat soldiers. In this episode, we dive into the importance of awareness, empathy, and practical ways you can offer meaningful support. These are the things autism moms wish you understood, and this episode shares how you can show up for them.

Tune in to the Advancing Women Podcast to hear from autism moms about our experiences and what you can say or do to offer the empathy and support we need.

Advancing Women Podcast Website: https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

In this episode, we celebrate Women’s History Month with words of wisdom from many powerful, brilliant, and inspiring women. Their poignant quotes provide lasting insight and inspiration for all women as we continue to work towards gender equity for all. These quotes and the resulting discussion come from a variety of women including women of color, women from the LGBTQ community, and women from countries across the globe. The quotes go as far back as the 1700s through current day. This is about the voice and inspiration of ALL women. From Abigail Adams, Susan B. Anthony and Lucrecia Mott to Gloria Steinem, Alice Walker, and Audre Lorde, to Doria Shafik, Raicho Hiratsuka, and Simone de Beauvoir to Maya Angelou and Emma Watson – you won’t want to miss this inspiration and insight FROM warrior women, FOR warrior women. #womenshistorymonth

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast

Advancing Women Podcast Website: https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

In today’s episode, I dive deep into the feeling of being overwhelmed and constantly busy, despite our best efforts to manage our time better. I share some personal reflections on how to take back control of our time and the importance of making small progress in our personal and professional lives. I explore the concept of The Progress Principle, backed by science, and how small wins can lead to greater momentum and motivation. It's a journey of intentionality — where it's not about doing more or being perfect, but about creating consistent, small steps toward progress that lead to greater satisfaction and fulfillment.

Key Themes Discussed in this Episode:

• The Overwhelm Trap: Despite making efforts to reclaim our time, many of us feel overwhelmed with the constant demands of life. The question arises: How can we create more time for ourselves while feeling less burdened?
• The Power of Saying YES to Ourselves: Often, we focus on saying no to others to protect our time. But maybe it's time to say yes to ourselves — add intentional actions that help us feel more in control of our lives.
• The Science Behind Progress: Drawing from The Progress Principle by Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer, I explore how small, incremental progress in meaningful tasks can positively impact our well-being, creativity, and motivation.
• Breaking the Cycle of Inaction: How can we avoid feeling stuck or paralyzed by the magnitude of our goals? Small wins matter, and a little forward motion can help us build momentum.
• Small Actions, Big Impact: I share simple, actionable steps like focusing on small goals, celebrating wins, and creating a sustainable approach to maintaining momentum. It’s about making a little bit of progress each day — whether it's spending 10 minutes on a task, having a brief conversation with a friend, or carving out time for self-care.

The key to overcoming overwhelm and reclaiming your time isn’t necessarily about doing more or perfecting everything. It's about taking small, intentional actions that gradually build momentum and foster a sense of accomplishment. If we can apply The Progress Principle in our own lives, we'll feel more in control, less overwhelmed, and more motivated to move forward — one small step at a time. #tunein #advancingwomenpodcast

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast:

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/