Jessica Baum, psychotherapist and author of Anxiously Attached: Becoming More Secure in Life and Love, on the links between attachment theory and our addictions to substances, behaviors, and unhealthy relationships. In the episode we discuss:

-An overview of attachment theory – and how our relationship with our early caregivers wires our attachment style

-How an inability to trust and connect with others can be traced back to how our nervous system formed in infancy

-Why we become “attached” to certain substances, behaviors, and people, when we are detached from ourselves

-Why so many people experience insecure attachment – whether this is expressed in “anxious” or “avoidant” tendencies

-Why addictive behaviors are only a symptom of underlying distress – which often has its roots in attachment issues 

-The meaning of “dis-regulation” and how we learn to reach outside of ourselves to regulate our nervous system

-Why a state of relaxation and ease can feel so alien to us when we are used to being dis-regulated

-Why workaholism and “overdoing” are so prevalent as ways of avoiding states of inner distress

-The chemical reaction that makes some people more vulnerable to “love addiction”

-Where codependency and love addiction overlap

-Why healthy conflict is what builds intimacy in relationships – and how being conflict averse can enable destructive behaviors

-The journey from “selfless” to “self-full” as a way to become more secure in our attachments

-Why it’s normal and okay to “self-medicate” and how to discover what are safe medicators for us

Get your copy of Anxiously Attached HERE and follow Jessica on Instagram @jessicabaumlmhc

Big thanks to Ghia for partnering on this episode. You can get your Ghia at Drinkghia.com - where you can also use the code CURIOUS to get $10 off your first online order.