Gather around dear listeners, but beware! ’Tis the Witching Hour, an awful time when witches and wizards roam the land searching for little girls and boys to turn into toads, salamanders, or sentient vacuum cleaners (happened to my cousin once). But not all wizards and witches are created equal of course. In fact, some may even be harmless! Fortunately, Matthew and Nathan have devised a special ranking system, or tournament if you prefer, to decide which witch (hehehe) or which wizard is most to be feared. Could it be Dumbledore? Or perhaps even Galadriel? Who knows! The only way you can discover the answer is by listening for yourself. So sit down, curl up by the fireplace, and listen to this magical tournament episode of Absurd Arguments!

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Philosophy. One man's least favorite subject in school is another man's mental playground. An old, rusty, rickety one in a bad part of town. In this episode, our hosts, Nathaniel Hume and Matthew Descartes, will play on this mental playground. Of the two, Matthew is the most prepared and excited while Nathan wishes he could sit on a mental bench and play his Game Boy Advance. But before they argue about philosophical conundrums that have stood the test of time, Nathan unveils his most philosophical version of "Which is the Worst" yet. Don't worry about this being too scholarly of an episode because Nathan also doesn't understand what's going on. Enjoy this informative episode of Absurd Arguments!

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Ahhhhhhh... Fall is finally here. The leaves on the trees are changing color (though that might be because it's so hot here in Texas), the weather is cooling down (from 90° to 80°), and we're nearing the end of the year (which isn't special to Texas). To bring in the new season, our hosts Matthew and Nathan want to bring in the cozy season by talking about how each of our 5 senses will experience it. Whether you listen to this swaddled up in a blanket with your drink of choice or are stuck in traffic on your way home from work, we hope that your day is filled with thoughts of sunsets, critters chirping in the night, and the feel of warm, clean laundry.

Drumroll music is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2K1yPbLrWc
Laundry alarm is from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8XaS9k1S80&t=6008s

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Hello friends and family,

If you are reading this, then Matthew and Nathan have either been abducted by aliens or faked their own deaths to live it up in Tahiti. In case they haven't completely drained their bank accounts, all the money they have made from this podcast is now yours (but don't hold your breath). Anyway, if Matthew has not input the daily code verifying he is alive and well, this message will automatically be sent out. All they ask is that you weep and mourn over their absence.

Sincerely,
The Absurd Arguments Team
AKA Matthew and Nathan
AAKA the Brains and the Brawn
AAAKA Editor-in-Chief and Comic Relief

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Jobs – we all have at least one. Except for maybe children. The thing is, not all jobs are equal. Some jobs are cushy and boring, like lawyers and accountants. While other jobs are pointless and shouldn't exist, like Instagram influencers and philosophy teachers. But the real backbone of every healthy country is the blue collar jobs. Fortunately, our hosts Matthew and Nathan argue about which of these tough, manual labor jobs are the best. Never mind the fact they barely know anything about manual labor (which is on brand for this podcast). Before they explore the ins and outs of hard work, Nathan tells Matthew about a certain movie critic, which is another tough job for sure. Put on your hard hats and enjoy this episode of Absurd Arguments!

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Have you ever looked up at the sky and wondered, "Gee, I wonder what's up there?" Lucky for you our absurd hosts know the answer: it's space! Yep, all that stuff like planets, moons, stars, and universes is the S P A C E. Today our hosts tackle this subject with all the gravity it deserves. Is space really the final frontier? Are we gonna live on the moon first or Mars? And will there ever be justice for what they (whoever they are) did to Pluto? Find out the answers in this episode of Absurd Arguments!

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April 1, 2024
Dear dairy, ugh, I mean diary. Wouldn't that be weird to write my thoughts to dairy products! Like, "Hi Milk, today I'm hanging out with my good, good friend Matthew." Or "Dear Cheese, Matthew wanted to show me something on his TV or whatever." Hahaha! Anywho, Matthew and I probably need to talk about our next podcast episode. Not sure what it'll be about. Hopefully not another holiday one. Or worse: a sequel. I'll need to think of a serious description when it does happen. No more jokes and weird meta humor most people will ignore. Well, I better go. Best not to be late! Oh, and happy April Fools’ Day, diary!

Sports music is “Legionnaire” by Scott Buckley

Conspiracy music is https://youtu.be/X9y5ka70Qto?si=F5LAEq7syDa8mu5w

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Woohoo! It’s spring break for our hosts, Matthew and Nathan. Shockingly, instead of staring into the void waiting for their break to end, they decided to go to the beach! Since it's a vacation, they don't plan to do much arguing at all, but absurdity can strike at any moment, especially at the beach itself. What will our beach-combing boys do? Will they go in the water? Fight off sharks and seagulls? Build sandcastles and giant holes in the sand? Who knows! Get your sunscreen and a towel and enjoy this sunny episode of Absurd Arguments!

EDITOR'S NOTE: DO NOT DIG GIANT HOLES IN THE BEACH

Tropical music is “Hawaii is a Paradise” by Francesco Biondi

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