ADHD Open Space Podcast

著者： Gray Miller late-diagnosed ADHD professional.
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  • The ADHD Open Space Podcast is for adult professionals living with ADHD and those who interact with them. We’ll talk about how it affects our work and those we care about. As the “open space’ implies, there is room to explore more, so feel free to leave suggestions and comments for each episode! The ADHD Open Space event will be January 20th, 2024 in Madison, WI. Registration opens December 1st at http://adhdopen.space! adhdos.substack.com
    Gray Miller
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あらすじ・解説

The ADHD Open Space Podcast is for adult professionals living with ADHD and those who interact with them. We’ll talk about how it affects our work and those we care about. As the “open space’ implies, there is room to explore more, so feel free to leave suggestions and comments for each episode! The ADHD Open Space event will be January 20th, 2024 in Madison, WI. Registration opens December 1st at http://adhdopen.space! adhdos.substack.com
Gray Miller
心理学 心理学・心の健康 衛生・健康的な生活
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  • The Axioms of ADHD

    The Axioms of ADHD
    2025/03/27

    Originally published as an article on Medium.com .

    For the last few months I’ve been writing down things that help me function with ADHD. These were short phrases, kind of like mantras: hurrying is kryptonite. Nothing is on the way to anything else. Choice is friction.

    I started calling this my “Rules of ADHD”, and planned to write them up — but when I got to number sixteen, I realized that would make for a pretty complicated article. Also, who’s going to remember sixteen different rules, especially when there were likely to be more?

    I’m lucky enough to be friends with Amber Beckett from The Hello Code and she suggested I look for over-arching themes, groupings that might simplify these rules into basic concepts from which the rules could be extrapolated to fit different ADHD experiences.

    With a bit of searching, I discovered there’s a word for that: axiom. After the obligatory “If you don’t know, why don’t you axiom?” joke, the following six Axioms of ADHD emerged:

    1. The Axiom of Stuff
    2. The Axiom of Transitions
    3. The Axiom of Magical Thinking
    4. The Axiom of Options
    5. The C.R.A.S.H. Axiom
    6. The Final Axiom

    Curious to know what they are and how they can maybe help you navigate this world? Listen to the podcast and find out!

    As always, comments are welcome here or emailed to gray@adhdopen.space .
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    25 分
  • Grace & Discipline with ADHD (Part Two)

    Grace & Discipline with ADHD (Part Two)
    2025/02/07
    originally written for Medium • Photo by Jackson Simmer on Unsplash If you know, you know. And that changes pretty much everything. “Suddenly, so much of my life made so much more sense.” That’s the most common refrain I hear from people like me who were late-diagnosed with ADHD. In my case, it was an ongoing, bitter, semi-serious joke, because while I excelled at tests, writing, and learning of all kinds, I somehow wasn’t ever able to parlay that into a secure career the way my peers seemed to. I would ask myself, over and over, as I looked at a depleted bank account or sat in traffic on the way to another job that I used to love but now felt like sandpaper in my gut: if I’m so smart, why ain’t I rich? Almost exactly a year ago from this writing, I got the confirmation of a possible answer to that question: because you’ve had ADHD (combined type) since you were a kid, and nobody knew it. I can’t blame anyone, not my teachers, not my parents, not my self, not my well-meaning friends and partners who tried a variety of techniques to help me succeed. There wasn’t the science to understand what ADHD was (in truth, there still isn’t, really, but at least it’s getting better). Now that I know I have ADHD, what does that change about my life? Being ignorant is not a sin. Remaining ignorant, is. — Robert Heinlein “What…are you…prepared…to DO?” — Sean Connery to Kevin Costner, The Untouchables Like many late-diagnosed ADHD folks, I channeled the one double-edged superpower that I understood: hyper-focus. I devoured the books, the podcasts, the papers, the social posts, the videos, and started writing about how I understood what I was learning (and now you’re reading this article! Sing with me: “It’s the CIIIRRRRRCLLLE of WRIIIIIIIIITE…”). That was the easy part. The hard part was — still is — that second part of the serenity prayer: accepting the things I cannot change. I have to stop pretending that my brain will work in the same way that most brains in this world work. It explains all the mishaps, mistakes, and poorly thought-out decisions that have made my life more difficult than it needed to be, but it doesn’t fix them. That’s up to me. Discipline means limiting my options. I hate even writing that. The cold, hard truth is that there are just some things that I see other people take for granted that I cannot do. I’m going to give you the current version of the running list, but before I do, I want to head off the typical neurotypical response: oh, everybody has that happen sometimes. Yes. You’re right. They do. The difference of ADHD is not in the symptoms; it is in the frequency and severity of the symptoms. Yes, everyone has diminished mental capacity when they don’t get enough sleep; for someone with ADHD, trouble sleeping is more common, and the diminishment is more severe. Which is why it’s at the top of the list: Things I cannot do: Skip on sleep. There’s an inverse relationship between how much sleep I get and how much my ADHD manifests during my day — and yes, I’m aware that sleep deprivation affects everyone, please see the above about severity. To add a layer of complication, the quality of the sleep also seems to be a factor.Skip on meds. It’s not just taking them — it’s the whole system of checks and reminders I have to have in place, because my brain doesn’t form habits, nor can it just assume I’ll remember to take them. Hence the obnoxious and insistent medical alarm on my Apple Watch, the checkbox in my daily journal for meds, and carrying a spare dose with me everywhere in my ADHD every-day carry.Skip on exercise. Again, I know: everybody needs to move. However, for most people, it’s because their body needs it. Mine too, but it’s become more and more clear that it’s really because my brain needs it to function adequately.Buy things conveniently. I used to think that contactless payment idea, the PayPal’s and the Venmo’s and tap-cards were wonderful inventions — until I realized, decades too late, that they make it that much easier for my brain to create crises by making impulsive purchases. I have them, but I’ve made them harder to use for myself.Use phrases like “in a while”, “soon”, or “later.” Time blindness is a thing. I’ve learned the hard way that I really have no concept of the passage of time, so if I use those very common phrases, they really have no meaning at all. Things I have to do: Interrupt my life to make notes. I have to write things down — names, tasks, ideas, you name it — in my little field notebook, or they get lost. It’s a common joke among ADHDers: The biggest lie we tell ourselves is “Oh, I’ll remember this later.” And sure, there are things on my phone that can let me conveniently take notes — but the phone is no longer a phone, remember? It’s an Infernal Distractibility Sarlacc Pitt of New Shiny ...
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    19 分
  • Grace and Discipline with ADHD (Part one)

    Grace and Discipline with ADHD (Part one)
    2025/02/03
    originally written for Medium.com • Photo by Keagan Henman on Unsplash The Deeper Long-Term Effects of Late-Diagnosis ADHD I was interviewed recently by the hosts of a decluttering podcast (link to come later, it’s not online yet!). I’ve been writing about organization systems and techniques for decades. I have always enjoyed trying out new systems, finding out the advantages and limitations and constantly re-optimizing them in various ways whether physical (whiteboards and labeled boxes!), paper (53 folders! File cabinets and notebooks!) or digital (Obsidian! Notion! Johnny Decimal! Tags, tags, so many tags…). It’s gotten to the point where I have to finally accept that it’s not so much a “need to get organized” as a hobby that I enjoy. Being a productivity/organization nerd for so long has made me into a bit of a resource for friends and clients as well; in any given situation, I usually can find a few different ways to organize, systematize, and optimize it, with a good idea of the pros and cons of each system. A long chat with a couple of decluttering enthusiasts was a wonderful way to spend a Saturday afternoon, and we laughed and traded ideas and experiences for over an hour. Finally one of the hosts asked me a question that resonated more deeply than I expected: Has your diagnosis of ADHD changed any of the ways you approach decluttering or organizing? Seems like an easy question, right? I could just point to the ADHD-friendly PDF planner, or my ADHD everyday carry kit, or something like that. But for some reason, the conversation sent my brain into deeper, more existential motivations, and two seemingly contradictory words bubbled up to the surface of my brain. “Yes. I give myself more grace, and more discipline. Grace is hard for a recovering workaholic ex-hustle-culture single-parent former Marine. Love languages are one thing — what about “motivational” languages? We all have varying ways of talking ourselves into doing things, as well as giving feedback to ourselves about the things we’ve done. Quite often these voices are echoes of the voices we internalized from others in our lives — parents, peers, teachers, partners, bosses, mentors, even books or podcasts. To use a distasteful example, a “pickup artist” enthusiast will likely start referring to people in terms of how attractive they find them — usually with a number, because objectifying other people with labels is much easier than actually interacting with them. But the interesting thing is that they also will refer to themselves with that numbering system — and it becomes a motivation for self-improvement. I’m only a six, but if I get in shape and dress better I could move up to a seven or eight and then I’ll have a chance with a nine, maybe even a not-picky ten! Gross, and also effective in some people I’ve met in getting them to pay more attention to their health and appearance. Even more distasteful and also unfortunately effective is the use of self-directed shame and anger as a motivator. I know this because many of my own accomplishments and “good habits” came from this kind of motivation. Nobody beats me up better than the drill instructor in my head (What do you mean you don’t feel like working out? Since when does a man your age have a choice in that? I don’t know what I did to deserve to be stuck in the head of someone this pathetic!). Or shame: No wonder your blog numbers fell. You don’t get up at 5 am and write anymore, the way real writers do. Might as well just keep scrolling Instagram, your work isn’t ever going to amount to anything anyway. Or just things not being good enough, even when they do get done: Sure, you think you’re a clever writer, coming up with these little voices in your head — but three? Four examples if you count the pickup artist? That’s ridiculous. Nobody’s going to read that much. You should have spent more time editing, instead of just squeezing in your writing on your lunch break. No wonder you’re not a Top Writer. That’s been my motivation for most of my life. Bullying and berating and belittling myself into getting things done — and it’s been quite effective, because I’ve done a lot of things, and certainly achieved the mainstream milestones of masculine success. And amidst being treated for the depression and anxiety that was the result of all that “success” came the news from my therapist and my psychiatrist. Oh. You have ADHD, combined type, and it’s pretty obvious that you’ve had it your entire life. That diagnosis added a new voice in my head. Suddenly there was a new set of ideas in my head, a clarification of the contributing factors to a huge number of decisions, events, and behaviors in my life. The simple understanding that my brain does not process dopamine the way that approximately 97% of other brains do explained why so much of the world I lived in — the world designed to ...
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    12 分

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