There’s a damaging idea shouted loudly by the self-help community which can be massively detrimental to our mental health if we take it on board; the idea that EVERYTHING is your fault.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m a fan of personal responsibility. In fact, the ability to choose your own adventure and put actions into place forms a large part of the work I do with coaching clients.

But some gurus will have you believe that you are responsible, not just for how you react to the things that happen to you, but for the fact that they even happened. Yes, that horrible thing that happened to you? It was actually your own doing….

Cue 26 minutes of me arguing against this point.

I’ll discuss:

· the damaging narrative of ‘personal blame’ touted in the self-help industry

· the dark side of the ‘law of attraction’ principle popular in spiritual circles

· why these narratives can be detrimental to our mental health

· how we can reframe these extreme views as something more helpful and conductive to strong mental health

· why none of us is 100% responsible for our circumstances…

· …and who or what is really to blame!

DISCLAIMERS AND CONTENT WARNINGS

SUICIDE – as always, suicidal thoughts and feelings are referenced so please do not listen if you are in a vulnerable headspace today. Professional organisations are linked at the bottom of the show notes if you’d like any support.

I am always open to improving the way I talk about any issues raised in the show, so please let me know if you have any feedback [email Alice at talk@darkcoffee.co.uk ]

RESOURCES, REFERENCES + RECOMMENDATIONS

‘Lost Connections' by Johann Hari

‘Stolen Focus’ by Johann Hari

COLLABORATORS

Solving Suicide is brought to you by Dark Coffee – development coaching to get your work and wellbeing working better together so you can feel like a badass in business.

Host: Alice Lyons from Dark Coffee

Music: ‘Solving Suicide’ by Steve Leggett 

Podcast editing: Steve Leggett

If you have any questions or would like to give us any feedback, you can email Alice at talk@darkcoffee.co.uk

To apply to be on the show, just fill in this form. 

SUICIDE SUPPORT ORGANISATIONS (UK)

Samaritans: Confidential suicide discussion and support. Free helpline available round the clock. Text - 116123. Call - 08457 909090 Email - jo@samaritans.org. Website - www.samaritans.org

Mind: Support and information for anyone suffering from a mental health problem. 0300 123 3393 Website - Mind.org.uk

Saneline: Practical information, crisis care and emotional support to people affected by mental health concerns. Helpline: 0845 767 8000, open daily from 6pm – 11pm.