
“Why Can’t I Be Like Her?”—and Other Lies Comparison Tells Us
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You were feeling fine—until you saw your friend's vacation photos. When you compare, you don’t just lose confidence—you lose connection, too.
We’ve all done it. We’ve all looked at social media and seen the vacation someone else is taking and we think, “I want her life. She’s got it figured out.” It's the easiest thing in the world to do. It’s also a joy-stealer and a resentment-builder.
Today, we're going to talk about a hard truth: Joy and pain are a package deal.
- We'll talk about why comparing your life to someone else's–anyone else's–puts a giant roadblock in the way of the intimacy you feel with your sweetheart.
- I'll help you see the five reasons why comparing leads to despairing, and we'll go step by step through five ways to help you remain in your own lane so you can stay sane
- I'll offer you a habit to help you recognize and shift your response the next time you feel tempted to compare.
Habit for Your Happily Ever After
This week’s habit is to first notice when you’re tempted to compare and despair, then, ask yourself enlightened and empowering questions instead.
Date Night Discussion
Sometimes, when I can’t seem to shake off my compare and despair attitudes, I’ll ask my husband or a friend to help me laugh. Laughter is the antidote to envy.
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