Carl Kozlowski has been mugged—twice, in two different cities, and got saved in funny fashion by cops both times. He's also infiltrated Scientology and the vigilante group the Guardian Angels, and loved to tell the tales, and also let a homeless acquaintance crash on his couch for a week, only to learn they'd killed someone.

Enclosed within are the tales of all this and much more, including Car's spending the night in Chicago's most notorious homeless shelter, getting punched and kicked by children while dressed as an inflatable dinosaur to whore Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, and dressing as Santa to perform 12 naughty deeds in a weekend on the streets of Chicago.

And he did it all while battling one of the worst cases of sleep apnea on the planet—a case that made him so tired at so many unpredictably disastrous times that he's virtually narcoleptic. Read all about it, and much more, here—in the nuttiest memoir in ages.

"Carl Kozlowski has one of the strangest lives you'll ever encounter. He faces all manner of misadventures, despite a severe sleep disorder, with great humor and good grace." (Bob Carlson, producer NPR's UNfictional)

"Thank God Carl managed to stay awake long enough to remember and share these stories. They'll keep you awake laughing for days to come!" (Paul Rodriguez, comedy legend)

Carl Kozlowski has been a standup comic and innovative reporter for over 25 years, and won the title of America's Funniest Reporter from the world-famous Laugh Factory and has been performing standup and writing professionally for over two decades. He's the co-author with Tim Joyce of two prior humor books, Life: The Final Frontier and Seize the Day Job: The Humor Book Al-Qaeda Almost Kept You from Reading. He's also narcoleptic, and you can find his sitcom pilot Dozed and Confused at www.carlkoz.com and Vimeo.